Whoa what a whirlwind month April has been for me! Writing, writing, and more writing was the focus and the call. Words tumbling out faster than I could type. Thoughts lost in the dark recesses of my mind wiggling their fingers in a call for me to follow. I celebrated the completion of one writing commitment and said good-bye to another support to my writing. It felt right as I came to the end of April and looked out across the expanse lying before me.
Giving myself permission to not write for a week, I found more than rest from the drive but also a newness dawning. My head felt dusty and fallow. It became apparent to me that a refreshing approach was needed. In my resistance to pausing I found myself chastising what I assumed was laziness and a return to old patterns of not finishing projects. Fortunately I flushed those mean words down the drain and carried on.
What began to unfold was another call to creativity. This call had been pushed far back into the corner to allow for the blogging and book writing to take center stage. There was real reluctance on my part to bring something new forward and not stay to the course. Finally in a true fit of stubbornness, I took pen to paper and allowed the creativity on another project to begin. It was deafening the sounds pouring out into the open. The artistic side sauntered through on an afternoon breeze and created deeper focus for my writing and design work. It really surprised me. Advice that had been given affirmed the value of my pause.
It is a tricky place pattern breaking. Those ways that we think have kept us safe and sane, when called to task, leave reluctantly. After much practice they design new ways of adjusting falsely. Our minds are grand instruments and when paired with ego develop an ability to fine-tune themselves into exquisite works. These works trick us into thinking they aren't tied to ego or old patterns dressed up in different attire. It is important to take pause, listen, and use discernment to identify the trickster. As you move further into oneness with soul you will know the difference in the illusion and your ego will do overtime. As frustrating as this may seem you should welcome the experience. The more you can identify how your ego shows up the more you can step further into your true self. Ego will never completely leave nor do we want it. It will however learn its place in your life which is awakening. Stripping the illusion away, having no opinion of the illusion, and still being in the illusion are skills that will be acquired as you continue to walk upon your path.
Now May is almost over. The writing that has taken place for me has been insightful. My main character in my book is back and refreshed. She has given me more to write and spurs me to tell her tale. There are other stories developing. This excites me to know the well is not dry. I have found joy again in my blogging and spring is officially here in my piece of the world. I have learned more about who and how and care less about the why. The discovery of a new pattern to wash down the drain brings another level to my path.
There is a new day dawning. It comes quietly, renewed and welcomed. There is a new level to me. It comes quietly, simply, and unabashedly. I understand my writing and a deeper me. They are intertwined and have no pause to be iconic. They just are. I believe there will always be new days dawning. It won't just happen to me. They are there for all of us. Enjoy them!
~The Soul Traveler