Ancient Knowledge

I admire .....

I’m sitting here listening to 90’s music and wondering how…. how do artists whether they be musicians, painters, poets or writers find the space and talent to bring out into the world a piece of them. How do they? So many, not all, are struggling with the same pains we are and most, not all, don’t grow out of that pain. Is it because they agreed some time long ago to voice our mutual pain, joy,, hopes, dreams, or do they speak for themselves?

These are the people who should be rewarded in plenty. Some do make millions and piss it away. Aren’t they mirroring what society does? The Bards in ages past were the conscious of society. They told the stories, offered their life in front of Kings, and reminded societies of their ills. Who are our 21st century bards?

Are you a Bard? Are you willing to offer to society its broken mirror? Are you willing to tell a better story? Can you delve into yourself, embrace your wounding and show the way? Are you willing to walk past those who offer a bypass into your freedom? It isn’t easy. Hell it’s much easier to jump on the spiritual bus and ride it to the next station of comfort. Yet you listen to the lyrics, read the words of the poet, cry at the novelists story, or the media artists creation. All the work they offer is for us to grab onto and bring it into the world. Their drums beat out our fear. Their words incite a passion and courage. What are we going to do with it all?

Can we become the bard? Can we speak our truth? Can we, as we offer our own unique, quiet gifts help to give rise to those who come to receive? Can we sit in our office cubes and share words that will help cement in our co-workers a sense that they are being seen? Do we stop the hatred? Or are we afraid of what we could lose? Fair enough…… not really.

Everything we dream can only happen if we bring action into it. Speaking bardic words without a willingness to lose it all doesn’t bring a lasting change. We share these concepts with each other yet our actions often speak differently. I'm far from being perfect. God knows if I was, as many hear me say “I wouldn’t be here” yet I try to be better tomorrow than I was today. Most importantly I know I would give my life for change. Change to an accepting, loving, intuitive society.

There is no single person who has the answers. There is one essence that can lead you to your answers. It is your soul. Your soul knows exactly how to treat each person, protect you, offer guidance, and comfort when obstacles enter your path. Your soul is your Bard. It understands the long forgotten ancient ways. It understands the artists of our worlds lamentations and driving beats. Our souls have their own song. They own soul sanguine. Soul speaks through them.

We listen to their words…. why can’t we listen to our own soul? Every one of us are bards. Speak your truth quietly or loudly when called for, from your soul heart, sharing your wounded heart and change the world. If not for you for you children and theirs.

I’m the one in ten

A number on the list

I am the one in ten

Even though I don’t exist

Nobody knows me

Even though I’m always there

A statistical a reminder

Of a world that doesn’t care

Lyrics from UB40 One in Ten

Traveling on ~

Teri

Where has all the time gone?

Well here it is October 2023 and I think the last time I wrote was 2018….. oh dear where has all the time gone?

Surprisingly it hasn’t gone anywhere. I’ve just walked through my life enjoying it and hurtling over obstacles oblivious of time. We are so often haunted by the ticking of the clock wondering if we will ever accomplish all we came here to do. WE WILL once we realise that our life’s aren’t dictated by the 9-5 or most importantly by others expectations of us. It is amazing how we are driven by artificial influences to our daily life. More often than not we aren’t even aware of these influences as we await the ‘retirement age’ and still feel its nudges years after that arrival to retirement.

Who you are and what you want to experience in life isn’t built around others views of you. We might even know that truth yet find ourselves abruptly heeding someone’s expectation in accomplishing what we thought was our desire. The influences of others is deep within us. It creeps to the surface often unexpectedly and leaves us wondering if all this peeling back of wounded layers will ever end. The truth? It’s a long road home to Us. That road isn’t insurmountable it is only one long, gorgeous, rain + wind driven, uphill, downward slide to unfolding your deeper self. We all know and admire those who seem to have risen above the unending chatter in their negative dialogue yet if they were honest they would tell you it is a daily motivation to uncover and remove the influences that aren’t true to who they know to be them.

From birth and for some from conception their path has been overshadowed. Perhaps it was intentional. My feeling is 99% of the time it is created from the wounding of the family and ancestors. Wounding that for many families no one ever discusses or are actually oblivious to it. Is that an excuse to not do your own discovery and work? Nah you don’t get a pass by blaming others. You do get to express the emotions that arise when you embark upon claiming yourself. You do get to be angry, please be angry, cry buckets, let them flow, and every other emotion that surfaces. Once you’re done feeling and expressing those emotions then own your circumstances and rise up to change them to what you desire.

Oh you say you haven’t a clue what you want. Fair enough. Most of us have no idea who were are or what we really find joy doing as we live our life. Don’t use that as an excuse to hang around and wait. Go experiment. Make a list of what you like if that is your go to. Ask others what they see as your strengths and gifts. Whatever course you choose to discover your gifts long hiding in the underbrush Do Something!

There is plenty of Time to uncover, embrace, and live your true life.

Living a true life means you are honest with yourself, your integrity is honoured, you respect others as you want to be respected (yep I did just throw that in), and you must openly laugh out loud. I could list a million things that don’t equate to a true life. Why should I bother? You know deep within you know what is true for you.

Time has very little to do with living a dictated life. Time has nothing to do with a ticking clock. It is fluid and flexible. It is a reminder to live. It is an honouring of the cycles of this Earth. It is a tool for us to break out and into our soulful life. It beckons us into soul initiations, into embracing growth and empowerment, and to loving each other. It creeps up as the life of our loved ones wain to ask us if we have said everything we need to say. It shines a spotlight on our dreams without a deadline. It holds a mirror up to us begging us to feel, know and embrace everything exquisitely present in our lives.

Time is the sunrise. Time is the sunset. Time is the first bud. Time is the last leaf to fall. Time is the anticipated whisper of snow. Time is you. Time is me. Time is never ending.

Traveling on ~

Teri

What Seems to Be, May Only Be but Just a Seems

I'm so happy you have enjoyed the travelogue postings. I know that the energy of those pictures hold a sacred energy not only for you but also for me.

This undertaking while brave has also been a leap of faith for me. I'm in a world I used to only visit, dream about the next trip, and fantasize a romantic opportunity. Yet how did I get here to this moment in time? How can you get to your moment in time?

Eighteen years ago I came here out of desperation. Divorced 5 years, having just experienced the death of my son, and lost to what I thought was my spiritual path + a dark night of soul I wouldn't wish on anyone I discovered that a dream, a land, and trauma could bring healing if allowed.

Yes, Ireland is amazing beyond comprehension, yet so can Mexico, Japan, France, Norway, downtown Boston, and the Badlands be amazing and transformative. It's not only the land that leads to transformation + realized dreams. All of these desires hinge on our willingness to look ourselves straight in the eyes, heal + own our trauma, embrace our darkness, bring forth our true + honest desires, and LISTEN to our deeper soul guidance.

It requires an honest assessment of our wants that have been suppressed, willingness to own our shit, and the ability to embrace your bodies desires. Now I'm not talking about carnal desires, although they shouldn't be dismissed or overly awarded, I'm talking about our reluctance to Get In Our Bodies and feel this life. The land we walk upon can only support us as deep as we are in our bodies. One can flit across this lifetime, barely feeling the pain + joy, all one wants. If your desire is to truly embody your moment in time then it is best to feel all of the emotions, pain, and ways in which you sabotage yourself. It may not seem like an easy road, it may seem unsurmountable, it may seem like perhaps next life, and all of those Seems are valid. They are also easily discarded.

I've owned many of those Seems. I've also discarded many of them only to have other Seems appear. Even now, living here on my soul land, I have them arise in moments I wish they'd just dither away. The bottom line is the Seems will never disappear. The right now will never arrive, the perfect setting will never arrive, and it's ok if you hang around just like you are now.

There is no scorecard like we've been told. There is only you bringing into your life what you desire, then tossing it aside while you bring what you truly deep down soul desire. Life has its societal timelines. We all have children to raise, parents we care for, jobs to fill, debt to be erased, and mortgages that strangle. We all also have a soul that guides (at times it may appear our soul doesn't understand 3D reality timelines but if we connect deeper it does), perceptions that are false, trauma to heal, and ample room to balance life + our soul path.

What I am trying to say is - this isn't an either or game.

Life is a weaving. It's snags and missed stitches. It's a beautiful tapestry filled with all your desires, missteps, bottomed out moments, achievements seen + unseen, and fuck it I don't want to go this deep moments.

I honestly don't perceive what I have just done moving here to Ireland as mind blowing. Maybe I should. Maybe I should really let this decision rock my socks. Maybe I should own this all the way down into my bones. I haven't. In some part of me it just seems normal. I must make sure I'm not denying myself the thrill, the joy, the painful, ecstatic feeling of OMG because that self expression was squashed at age eight.

Hmmm perhaps I've got a Seems. See we all have them and we all have the ability to see them, own them, and send them on their way.

May you always feel deep.

May you always love you.

May you always give others a pass on their Seems. May you one day realize there is no timeline.

May you always leap.

May your Seems just be Seems and never deterrents.

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Dither, Dather, and Deep Healing

Going on five and half weeks and where do I begin?

There is an embedded culture in each of us. Whether you have been thriving within the social structures and standing outside pursuing your own path the predominant culture seeps in to your psyche and steers your ship.

I have known for decades that my home was in Ireland. I have known since early childhood the land I found myself was not my natural home. The trees, animals, soil and plants gave me comfort. It was these aspects that guided my inner knowing and growth. They were the buffer to the whirlwind of people I found I was to call family and friends. I didn’t hate them only found them confusing, hurtful, and lacking in guidance. Could I label these experiences as a child, young woman + mother as I climbed out of the pain, trauma, and set a course to reclaim myself? Not really because I had no human frame of reference for the world I found myself.

What I could fathom and clung to desperately was the solitude of the land, a few kindred souls, and dedication of non-physical guidance. It was these aspects that I drew upon for guidance, lead me to those who could help me to begin the healing and dedication to live fully within my body + emotions. As often as I was told I wasn’t grounded, I knew I was one of the few that resolved to understand how my mind, body and soul was not separate. I was willing to feel the pain, determined to observe, test my emotions, and face the darkness. I wasn’t always successful, heightened some traits to extreme, and definitely harmed others as I fought my way forward. I had on ace up my sleeve. Born a joyful being, I refused to allow that joy to be crushed and destroyed. It’s that joy I missed the most.

My first visit to Ireland, as I have spoken often, ripped off the blinders. I was home on a strange and beautiful land. Having held sacred my ability to observe the deeper workings of life, I began to notice my reactions, non-reactions, and nurturing that occurred just standing on the land. Not only did gentle voices fill my head, music filled my ears, and my body trembled with the unspoken understanding coming from silent people passing, rock fences, and determined winds. The rains over those 7 days washed the tears falling from my broken heart. I was welcomed.

Now I am living on this nurturing island. Little did I know the depth of healing, facing my darkness, and allowing love into a daily life I would have to face before I could settle into making Ireland my home. The cultural influence of the US would often impeded my path. Eventually I had to let go of how things had always been.

For 2 weeks I stumbled along surprising myself at my ineptitude, regression, and reluctance. I couldn’t remember appointments, was terrified of taking mass transit, cowered as I walked along the busy streets, determined to not let anyone know I was fumbling, yet holding strong to my soul’s guidance + whispered words from my lifetime Goddesses + Gods. My ancestors were quiet, my son was mute, and my soul flashed past event after event both day + night. Through all of it I found daily joy watching the Lollipop man + woman guiding the children to school, knowing I was held tight in another shaman’s home, laughing at my ability to get lost, and my determination to walk, even it I stumbled, towards to a life I thought at the early age of 4 was gone from me.

On the Solstice I was gifted the opportunity to visit Loughcrew, travel down into the Morrigan’s cave, and stand upon Medb’s land in Rathcroghan. I visited these sacred sites as the woman from the US who had returned to Ireland. It was a moving and deep communion. I was welcomed once again. Upon arriving at our last place, Uisneach, everything changed. The skies opened, the rain poured down, and the energies shifted + swirled around me.

I entered Uisneach as a student, welcoming the stories + sacred rituals being presented by a new Irish teacher. I was drenched and feeling restless when the possibility of turning back was presented. We gathered around a fire and discussed splitting up into separate groups. I chose to continue on to the Cat Stone. The sun returned. It was here I was rebirthed leaving behind the US woman and claiming a new culture and life. Little did I know what I had done. Was I willing to be taught? Was I willing to be changed? Was I willing to release the chains around my Joy and live unbridled? Was I willing to be?

Saddled with the worst sinus infection in years within days of leaving Uisneach, the flashbacks, pain, and decisions rampaged. I stubbornly brushed off assistance of healing medicine. I was determined I could take care of myself. I wandered in a daze believing I was moving forward. My old archetypes I had successfully used in the US deterred my healing. My right jaw screamed in pain. I was not making progress. I bawled each morning as I watched the Lollipop man nurture the young children while my own childhood memories flooded every waking hour pleading for his kindness. I made myself as tiny as possible within the space I was residing, ignoring the requests from my friend to ‘make myself at home’, hoping to not intrude into her life. Every rental place I visited in Westport denied me. I wasn’t losing hope. I was determined to face the pain, memories, allow my body a voice, and release the hard, competitive, non-supportive cultural upbringing of the US. Although I had always stood outside the US society I had swallowed hook, line and sinker the cultural malaise.

Through all of this I was being buffeted by a land that poured acceptance, unconditional love and the wisdom hidden in trauma. I was swimming in overwhelm. Unable to tread this sea I found myself drowning in love so thick I had only one choice. A beautiful aspect of being in community with those who have done their work is their willingness to offer an intervention. I received that gift one evening as I was called out on my stubbornness. Putting into words, my one choice, I heard my friend clearly. It wasn’t are you going to sink or swim. It was, ‘Do you want your joy?’

For days after I was bombarded with questions. Are you willing to overwhelm yourself with You? Are you willing to accept your divine right to life? Are you willing to embrace all the healing you have done and gifted to others as an integral aspect of your being? Can you walk as tall as your Avatar? Can you allow yourself to be happy even as you stumble, bumble, dither, and dather?

These questions aren’t new to me. I ask them often and answer them as truthfully as I can in the moment. There is difference in these now. To answer these question, I had to be willing to die to 66.5 years of my life. All aspects of the trauma, disconnection, beliefs, mannerisms, and cultural indoctrination of individuality. I had to be willing to accept community. A community that required my sensitivity, empathy, insights, courage, and dithering + dathering. A community that could care less if I wore flowers in my hair + danced in the moonlight. A community that honored integrity and forthrightness.

Ireland is full of people lacking in all these qualities. It isn’t a miracle place. It isn’t a romantic getaway from your healing. It’s filled with arrogant sob’s and angry + forgotten souls. It’s not a place for everyone. The land is a beacon in the dark for those who are called to it. The call may be for only a bit or for a lifetime. This land knows pain, wisdom, and has never forgotten what unconditional love means. It will swallow you up and spit you out naked upon its rocky shores. It will demand you are true to your soul. It will require you change, not change it. It remembers. It forgives and never forgets. It welcomes everyone yet isn’t for everyone. It leads the way and can follow when required. It is stubborn yet yielding, childish yet wise, and demands honor while giving honor in return. It is many things and nothing. It will nudge you along as far as you want to go. It is only one place in this world that will help you answer the call. Make no mistake it isn’t utopia. It may make you feel a nurturing you’ve never felt and still not be your home yet help you find where it is.

As I share its beauty with you and you begin to romantically envision a haven for you, remember a land is only as supportive as you are willing to be to yourself. Any land will not do your work for you. Your responsibility is to do your own work and face the pain hidden within your body. The joy + love I am expressing is palpable because I am releasing + embodying love + joy for myself regardless of my location. The land in the US welcomed me + allowed me to heal my 66 years because I honored it and myself. I honored the First Nations and their wisdom whose land is the place we call the US. Many of you are welcome to call the US home because you have a sacred contract. A contract that must be honored by honoring those generations who tended its soul for thousands of years. The lands of the US placed demands on me as I walked upon them. I fought for civil rights, raised my voice against atrocities and inequalities, and learned my craft so I could offer it to myself and others. These demands I answered and gave back to the best of my abilities.

The land of Ireland asks demands of me also if I am to live here. The requirements aren’t necessarily only of a civic duty except to live honorably and care for the disenfranchised. There are other ancestral soulful demands I am being asked. The exact requests will be revealed and require me to continue to heal, step further into my wisdom, and live a deep shamanic life. How and what it will look is yet to unfold. I will always be student + teacher upon this land. Culturally I must relinquish my US ways daily. My American edges will have to be dropped or smoothed. My ears must be tuned to the vibrations and my stubbornness must be tempered with a willingness to be nurtured. My introverted ways of protection must be balanced with my extroverted joy.

This is long I know. Where I once suppressed my gift of gab it is now bursting through sprinkled with my dancing feet + swaying hips. The little girl who would sit under the elm tree, playing in the soil making special portions as she sang her heart out, dancing to the melody blaring from the leaves, has been welcomed home. As hard as I try to silence the urgings of my ancient archetypical bard this past week I can no longer clench my teeth + sit on my hands. I have to write and follow my path.

Slán go fóill

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The Journey Continues .... and we all join

Wow what a year so far it has been for so many. 

So many significant events have come, gone and some still carry on, that the chaos of change has, and I think I can say honestly, all of us swirling!

Standing Rock called everyone out of the sleep! It asked us were we really serious about protecting this planet, our children and grand children, and standing on the brink for what we believed was true.  It also held up to us who we might be appropriating an expression of spirituality that wasn't ours. 

Black Live Matter showed us our privilege as a White race. It really asked us to own it or go home. 

The election of Donald Trump showed us how deeply asleep we were, how disconnected from each other, and asked us were we really serious about equality and freedom.

Still the journey continues and how are we going to travel? What is really important to you? Do you really walk your talk? Is your spirituality based on Indigenous tribes that aren't our ancestry? Is our privilege harming those we say we fight to protect?

Is love and light going to change the world? Is the love we say we offer strong enough?

Are we sharing and teaching from our ancestral medicine? Are we sharing and teaching to make a buck?  Is our wildness really ours? Is it really expressed? Do we own it?

These are questions that only we can answer. 

For me, I have focused my uncovering on my ancestral medicine. As I learn, I am finding that other memories, doorways, and mentors enter my life. My ancestral wisdom and healing comes flowing up into my consciousness. The unconscious patterns come forward. I have a choice to change them, create healing around them or embrace them as a way of being. There is a wisdom in the simple life they lived. Yes it was hard and often short but it was full and free. I am not naive enough to think the Irish famine was a walk in the park or any other hardship many of our ancestors experienced. Slavery certainly wasn't a joy. It was filled with violence and hatred.

Our ancestors did find a moment to love and feel joy. A human experience isn't without its pitfalls and persecutions. I do believe that they had a connection to the land that we only glimpse. They had a connection to a deeper story steeped in a sacred living. It was this deeper sacred story that helped them to wake each morning. It helped them to bring life into the world that was harsh. 

As I relinquish the many possessions in my life I find a simplicity. I have more time to be on the land whether it is in hiking or walking around town. I am in the world enjoying its various flavors and humans. My ancestral medicine contains within it a responsibility to protect, preserve, love, and relish the land, these crazy humans, and amazing animals. It is the combination of this spiritual ownership with the celebration of our value that brings about joy, strength and eventually change.

I would gladly go back to the Neolithic Age where we lived in communion with the land, people and animals. Where the magic of our life sustained us and helped to birth new life. When we looked to the Stars and knew we were connected to a greater expansive existence. When we didn't need to conquer in order to feel whole.

As white Europeans, especially Americans, we have lost our medicine. This loss has created a constant search for wholeness. Our souls ache, our bodies ache, our minds wander in search for the magic, the connection, and the communion our ancestors knew.

For me it is time to own the past, present and future darkness of hatred and greed as well as the lightness of the joys and love. 

Join me, there is room for all.

Traveling on ~

The Soul Traveler

Winter Conversations ..... Cold + Dark = Quiet Wisdom

Tonight a friend stopped in to talk.  It wasn’t a chat.  He needed to talk.  

He spoke about feeling lonely, not alone. He spoke specifically about feeling lonely. The lonely that happens when you make decisions that other’s might not agree on as the best option. The lonely that happens when after 10 minutes no one has texted or called. The lonely that occurs when winter hits and you cannot go outside.

The Lonely ~ the lonely that hits even when you are surrounded by a dozen friends, in the company of your life partner, when you sit in a meeting of peers at work, the lonely that hits when your family doesn’t see you.  It is the lonely that happens at birth and arrives to finally meet you at death. It is the lonely that is the ‘curse’ of being human in the current world. Let’s be honest the lonely that has been here for generation after generation.  It is the lonely that drives us to kill not only each other but also this planet and its animals.  Those animals we are jealous of because they do not know loneliness.  The dogs, cats, wolves, deer, eagles, elephants, and other animals that understand aloneness + community does NOT = loneliness.

Right now we are all feeling alone in America. Many can raise their hands high in acknowledgement that NO one has heard them for years.  They may never admit they are lonely. They will stand tall + swagger but we can all see past the veneer. This hoopla around our next President isn't the cause only the visible ulcer.  This goes far deeper and wider.

Loneliness is personal and universal.  We came in alone by not lonely.  We will die alone yet it we don’t have to be lonely.  

Loneliness is driven by the denial of self value. Our current culture (especially western white culture) does not nurture a whole self identity. It does not understand the value of the connection to our inner self. Because of this it perpetuates the denial of the value of Community as nurturer and the self within that community. The Quakers used the identifiers of Thee and Thou to bring inclusion into the self thus creating the understanding of the value of self within the community.  Many religious practices exclude self, deny the value of nurturance, and through the exclusion create a community of loneliness.  

Standing Rock exposes the loneliness within our culture. As a cultural phenomenon to the western world, Standing Rock shows how the acceptance of the value of self within a community through ancestral spiritual practices of inclusion, loneliness is removed and courage, integrity, self love, and the ability to value all life is expressed in daily interactions.  

We are not all of First Nation blood so what could my friend do to help embrace his loneliness?  

There are options available ~ A spiritual practice to quiet the mind and connect the higher self to him. A spiritual practice that allows for interaction between the higher self and him releasing the long held generational beliefs. A spiritual practice that gives value to community.

A willingness to say I no longer want to exclude myself.  A willingness to see the pain of loneliness in others, especially those we believe are not lonely. 

A clearer understanding of the concept “we create our experiences” and it is within our control to banish or build all aspects of our life.

Finding his ancestral spiritual lineage.  

There are many other options available to grasp the loneliness we experience. Each are individual as to their benefit.  There is no One Size Fits All.  I suggested he try many different avenues to find the right fit. The one that draws him, intrigues him.  Intrigue will fuel his desire to embrace his loneliness. His loneliness, when embraced, will bring to the world compassion and right action.

The dark, cold winter is designed for reflection. It doesn’t allow distractions to take our pains away. It refuses to hear the excuses and demands we find the courage to take a stand. Winter is our best ally in forming our convictions. If you can turn and face the adversary in the dark + cold, you can face them in light and ease.

No one is ever alone. There may be times when you feel loneliness. Remember many are here with you right now in this moment. Shine brighter.

Traveling on,
Teri ~ The Soul Traveler

The Prelude .....

I love the word Prelude.  It speaks of such beautiful anticipation.  It lays the ground work for the masterpiece.  In music it sets the stage for the grand suite or fugue.

In the aspect of your life it offers so many options, tweaks, and creativity.  It is the juiciness of design, the excitement of the inspirations, and the core of creation.  Your aspirations shine during the prelude leading further down the path. Prelude can take many forms and speaks to your psyche as to the process that resonates with you.  

For me sometimes it is the prelude where I get stuck.  Do I approach the Prelude this way or that causing me to not allow the flow  I am not one to be uncomfortable for long, either a solution appears or one must move on. So over careful reflection, I have come to understand that Prelude is not to be rushed. There isn't a time limit to its creation and when allowed to flow guides itself. Prelude is not the incubation period. It is the creative introduction, the stage setting for the Masterpiece. Creating the Prelude is as valuable as the masterpiece itself.

As another marking of time begins what will be your Prelude?  How will you approach your masterpiece? Will you give yourself permission to flow into the anticipation.  

Is discovering your muse, your prelude without linear time important to you? Giving rise to understanding that time does not control our outcomes removes suppression of our soul song line. We are so geared to time limits in our daily life that we often rush to push our creative work out into the world too soon. Does your new healing modalities or creative offerings have a self imposed expiration date? Is the launching date driven by the world at large or the panic of missing the prospect of joining the bandwagon of others?  Are you listening closely to your Soul Song line and imbuing your Prelude with soulful creative energy allowing it to steep?

It isn't unusual to feel the push to get your creations out into the world 'just in time'. If you watch a true creative person they move differently. They listen intensely to a different drumbeat that draws their creations along. If you ask them they will do their best to explain how they create. Just remember it is how they create, their soul song line they hear and follow, not yours.

2017 is a 1 year in Numerology. A #1 year is all about new beginnings and the energies of #1 are perfect to begin your Prelude.  Astrology is another modality that speaks of cycles and spirals not linear time.  The movement of the Stars are very much a symphony.  They take center stage on cue, moving forward or retrograde back to a repeating stanza. 

Your soul doesn't do linear time.  Your soul doesn't do human.  It does soul.  It sings a song that flows and swirls.  It doubles back, surges forward, pauses, and plays. Its time rhythm is to visualize, listen, and dance.  Soul song lines have no beginning and no end. They just are truly movement. 

We live in a linear society so how do we walk in two worlds? There are many tools available to support you in straddling many worlds. Check your toolbox and see which work best.  Reach out for new tools or a refresher course. Play with your old tools in new ways,  Play and build your Prelude.

How does one connect with your soul song line? Hum a few bars, sway a bit, 2 twirls and a sigh should just about get you there .... Come play with me and I'll help you hear your soul song line.

Happy Fresh Beginnings! Come play with me any Time xxoo

Traveling on ~ The Soul Traveler

Time and Time and ..... Time Again

"Make me your friend," Time whispers.  "Don't hate me for not filling your day fuller, or so full you can't breathe. Remember I am but the limits you believe exist."

We wander through life following a clock.  We are taught to set goals for the future and remember the past.  We are not told how to live in the present.

Time is presented to us as a dictator.  We are led to believe that we must rush through our life succumbing to its will.  The sound of our mother's heartbeat from the womb is replaced by the tick ticking of an inanimate object.  Driven by a set number we rush through our life only occasionally rebelling against its chains.  We think Time requires us to be lead around in a constant circle.  

We practice meditation daily only to run off to the next appointment we managed to squeeze in to yet another day. How often do we purposely bring the non-time of meditation into our work day or weekend plans?

Each of us has our own perspective of Time.  We use it to accomplish our living, mark memories or milestones, and allow it to lead us forward.

Time does not exist.  It is our buy-in to segment our life that determines its control.  If Time doesn't exist then what does that really mean + why would we care?

Our ancestors used Time as a natural rhythm.  Sleep + waking were the determining points.  The sun came up, they rose.  Sun set, they slept.  As days lengthened hunting + planting lasted longer. Days shortened hunting became a quick sport and they relied upon what harvest came from the plantings of the longer days.  There was not a giant clock nailed to the trees, ticking away to drive their days.  They marked their lives from the seasons and rhythms of the sun + moon.  The stars portended the future.  The moon reminded them of the day just ended ~ the past.  Their present was marked by the sun as it moved across the sky.

Now we live here with the aspect of Time glaring down from his mighty perch, barking out measured steps to be completed each day.  Our children's arrivals are measured in weeks, the longer calculation, instead of the vagueness of months.  There is a celebration for every passage of time.  Constantly we are shown the greatness of Time.  A languished moment is heralded with criticism and offered up as a treat.

How we got here would be another 10 pages.  How we arrived is not as important as how we release this dependency on Time.  We can all agree we are in a world running faster and faster.  We are totally enmeshed in the barbs of time.

Each of us use some form of meditation.  These practices are generally our first introduction to moving out of time. As we leave our meditations we sense the calm space, an altered space, surrounding us and it appears to be drifting away.  You experience this same sensation when you are caught up in something enjoyable and not so enjoyable.  It is the altered state of full immersion into the Present that lengths or shortens our concept of time. Time truly is an illusion.  Playing with that illusion will break down the mental and physical constraints.  

Try for 45 days a few of these games and see what transpires.  Nothing tricky or 'time-consuming' to this play.     Enjoy ~

1.) Rid yourself of all clocks. Yes turn your phone over :)

2.) Each traffic light you approach that is RED state: 'Change, change, change'.  Make note each time it changes to green.

3.) Each traffic light you approach that is GREEN state: 'Stay, stay, stay'. Make note of the times it stays green and you pass on through.

4.) Using the appointments you have during a week, pick one each day (even if the only one is getting to + from work) as you head to the appointment say, "Stretch, stretch, stretch'. Make a note when you arrive with time to spare and when you don't.

Each week during the 45 days review your results.  Mark down any feelings or reactions recording when one was easy, fun or difficult.  Note any resistance.  These simple exercises will asset you in learning how to stretch time, fold time, and break down the assertion that Time exists.

Learning to play will help shift your mind & its reality of the need for time and heighten your bodies acceptance of freedom.  Time play + shifting = a mental, physical, and spiritual understanding of what is reality.

Traveling on out of time ~

Teri ~ The Soul Traveler

Sometimes ...

It has been a while since I have felt strong enough to write, not because I have been sick or frightened. Lately so much has been asked of me to contemplate, resolve, experience, rebuild, create oh hell just to be!

I often run from what Spirit asks of me.  Oh yeah, I do.  It becomes a game of hide and seek, you know that one we learned to perfection as children.  Little did we know it had a bigger purpose. HA!

It wasn't yesterday that I started on this journey of living my life how I wanted to live it.  Oh no, I have done tons and I mean tons of work on healing the wounding that took place in my 'growing up years' and even to today.  Yet I always knew that as damaged as society tried to make me think I was, I wasn't .... LOL not even.

One could go on about damage and loving yourself.  I could tell you stories that would raise your eyebrows but why?  We all hold stories of damage but we seldom share stories of recover of self. Why don't we?  No one comes out of this life not having experienced collateral damage. No one!  And all of us can discover our true self and the deep divine love held within that discovery.

We all can leave this lifetime with the understanding of and living from our true self.  I am not like you however I am exactly like you.  You bleed, I bleed. You cry, I cry. You get angry, I can get angry. I laugh, you laugh. I need, you need.  I am you, you are me!

Sometimes we are each other ~ laughing and crying. In our hurry to just Be, we forget to stop and let go.  We forget to see the other person.  Our reluctance to embrace self-love, self-acceptance, and self-nurturing builds a world around us that reflects the wounding from believing others opinions. From not believing in our ability to love and be the divinity we relish our world pains us.  

We are all gifted to understand the inner workings of the magic of life yet often we forget to see, hear, and reach out to those who know our value.  Inside there is an urging that says I am you, You are me!

On February 26, 2016, I turned 63 years old and at exactly 4:16pm MST I was gifted another birth certificate that said, "Congratulations you are an Irish citizen."  Think about it.

I am you reborn, You are me reborn.  There is always time for rebirth.

Let's celebrate!

Traveling on ~

The Soul Traveler

Warriors Cry Real Tears ..... Too

It is my walks in nature where I find my inspiration.  I don't think I am alone in this occurring.  We all have those times when we really let go of our daily grind.  Nature just seems to be the perfect 'spot' for it all to slip away.

Recently I was struck by a thought that sprang to mind as I wandered away from the maddening football crowd.  The noise drifted further and further leaving me present to the dusty trail and the minuscule amount of others joining me.  Contemplating on the gorgeous blue skyline with its wisps of promising clouds the thought of how my years of overwhelming sensitivity had awakened this fierce fortitude kept pushing at me to not be ignored.  This unwavering ability to reach deep into the darkest depths of others lives, soul loss, and pain.  How the fortitude had supported me in finding the strength to heal my darker wounds, releasing this amazing Joan of Arc aspect.  This Kali fire that had laid hidden deep now fueled my very being.  Somehow I had become the warrior I was destined to be this lifetime.  

Early on this extreme sensitivity laid me open for all to see, to be trampled on, to suck me dry energetically, it became a constant burden yet I could not discard it upon the heap and walk away.  As I walked through this life I was reminded daily by others that I wore my heart on my sleeve, to stop the crying for god sake, suck it up, and the best one was, "Oh here we go again," echoed through my head.  I could barely stomach large crowds still not my favorite without gobs of protection.  I didn't get sick or have a headache instead I grew restless, fidgety, a claustrophobic fence grew around me and I would dart.  Often I remained outside by myself literally and figuratively.  I would play with the neighborhood children but only when I wanted and always with an escape route.  Somehow I knew if I was ever cornered or someone I cared about was bullied, I would come out swinging.  

I liked being around people.  It was what occurred that drove me crazy.  It was the pain I felt from them, the cries for help, the wounded soul that begged me to listen.  I didn't know how to protect myself.  Still I helped, oh yes, I helped.  I listened, encouraged, walked them to solutions, laughed making them see the funny side, and then I went home tired and drained.  I carried all the wounding on my shoulders and in my heart.  I became their little angel.  I grew tired and aged past my years.

Overtime I learned how to protect myself.  I relinquished their burdens and stopped carrying them.  I discovered how to help them help themselves.  The turning point was when I finally embraced that I was a warrior.  Finding the finesse of the soul sword and how to deftly wield it on behalf of others broke the crack wide open on my extreme sensitivity.  Most who know me now have a hard time seeing me as the sensitive introvert.  What is apparent to them is my ability to kick ass and take names, my gregarious ways, and pull to have deep conversations.  If they look closely they will see the quiet one watching all the interchanges, feeling the ebb and flow of the energy, seeing the real story, and listening very closely ~ the warrior at work.

As we have lived our lives in the company of others we begin to perceive ourselves through their eyes.  We forget how to decipher the light + dark sides of our essence.  We mistake for instance our gregarious nature as a conflict to our desire for solitude.  We don't see either of them as pluses in our relating to others.  We think of them as a battleground for fitting in.  When we tweak our view just a bit our solitude becomes the place for figuring out what our gregarious nature just learned.  Why the person we just met is hurting deep within.  The person whose presence is pulling our energy away creating headaches, or sickness, or claustrophobia; the physical manifestations of a very sensitive introvert.  

We are not being asked to fix or lay down any aspect of our true soul nature.  It is up to us though to configure those aspects and find a home place for our sensitivity and desire for aloneness.  These are gifts and like all gifts sometimes their brilliance hurts our human eyes.  Remember it is okay to wear sunglasses inside.

We all know spiritual warriors and for many of us our soul song line is the warrior path.  It is expected that the warrior will stand and face the music for the tribe.  They travel into the depths of despair battling for our soul pieces and protecting the Truth.  Swords of valor, eyes of steel, and hearts all encompassing become the warrior creed for all who walk this soul song line.  

There is a piece seldom shown except in introverted moments.  It is what becomes the badge of courage.

 

Spiritual warriors cry real tears...... Too

Traveling on...... The Soul Traveler xoxo

Eventually You Have to Go Back and Get it ................ and other musings

At the ancient age of 6 I would wander outdoors early and not return until hunger struck me down.  There was far too many familiar faces often hidden from others for me to visit and chat with to endure the indoors and siblings.  I would build replicas of ancient cities in the sandbox chatting to the multitudes that filled the houses, creating soups and brews from the plants and feathers around me making sure to offer them to the sky above, my dog, and those living in places far, far away.  Some days I could be found squawking out a tune in my squeaky voice of lost love and home long missed, crafting necklaces of seeds, feathers, and hollowed bones, leaving a very pretty plate when my dinner bell sounded for those who would be passing through.

Occasionally my pesky brother would come to chide me it was time to give it all up.  "What you are doing, he said, is never going to work here."  Let's climb the trees I begged at least we can get closer and perhaps they will hear us.  In solidarity for his crazy sister, we climbed higher and higher into the trees.  The fun eventually turned to spying on the people in the passing cars and our other siblings sent to find us.  

My nighttime dreams were filled with places not known here and starred me as a Joan of Arc Star Faery come to help.  I would wished that Peter Pan would arrive and take me back to his Tinkerbell except there was a BIG thing wrong with her.  Star Faeries don't look like her nor do they flitter around aimlessly.  I was after all only a silly 6 year old with a vivid imagination.

Since mid June I have been experiencing a heavy dose of what I call 'the crabbies'.  You know those small irritations that surface to prick at your sanity and your peace like the driver going the speed limit after 5pm?  I am not one to dismiss any disruption to my daily nirvana.  My hip, lower back and pelvis had decided to hold a grand flair up in my honor which signaled ~ the storm is about to hit!  I hit the airwaves to search for insight.  The body needed to be heard after 40 years of carrying a long hidden pain, my mind needed a distraction to allow for the story to be told, my emotions needed expression but not during rush hour, for god sake, and really I needed to blend, meld, brew all that ancient wisdom I once relished in back up to the surface and come full circle.  Time for the full Joan of Arc Star Faery to come out to stay, not the half assed 'almost' me.

Relying on proven traditional awakening techniques I struggled to make the meld permanent.  I made headway for sure and saw the twinkling of long hidden knowledge but it would not come up, stay, and pour forth.  I knew there was an issue that I needed support in clearing.  It was an issue that wasn't responding to my usual support network.  Feeling the 'need' to go home I knew this was a quantum leap coming to the surface.  No longer satisfied with my usual tools, I found myself pushing to make that long overdue sacred connection.

Reaching out to my divine star connection, tears filling my sacred eyes, I asked to be gifted the tool that would take me back to the treasure trove of my sacred ancient wisdom.  The wisdom held securely by a small delicate 6-year old girl who knew that anything crossing her path was sacred, loving, and in need of their own remembering, the wisdom that may not free this planet completely but it would offer care, nourishment, and a recognition of the elegance of the human heart.  And not just a little bit of that ancient knowledge but the whole treasure chest ~ because why go after just a spoonful of nourishment?

Last evening I participated with 4 other magnificent women in a northern shamanic vision quest led by a wonderful Vitki.  This isn't just a coincidence that through the ancient north traditions my vision has been cleared.  My ancestral roots like most western europeans comes from the celtic + viking traditions.  It wasn't just a luck of the draw that I spent 2 weeks in Ireland and England last May.  It was the call of the delicate, optimistic, pain-in-the-ass 6 year old sprite come to claim her star birth rite.

There are so many ways back to finding our true self.  The one that brings you joy even in the midsts of your human trials is your key.  I know my home is in the stars and that I live here now.  Finally claiming the ancient traditions of the stars brings a passion long since subdued back into my daily life.  My ancestral knowledge helps me to meld it all together.  It supports the creation of knowledge, play, love, and nourishment that is a kaleidoscope of all wisdom ~ ancient, current, earth, + star.

Take the road you are most afraid to walk.  It is on that road your truth lies waiting.  Who you are is for you to discover and claim.  Loving every aspect whether it be called light or dark is what it is all about this time around.  Close your ears to the world screaming out the latest and greatest.  Open your heart to the murmurings of those not seen ~ they remember you, your naked you, your sacred, playful, wise you.  

Let's take that step and see where it takes us.  Let's brew that cup of nourishment and drink it down.  Every last drop! 

I'll be seeing you around the next star - The Soul Traveler xoxoxoo

The Stillness that is the Harvest

Sometimes, when we really pay complete attention, we are gifted with a communion that takes us out of our daily existence and into the 'real' experience of life.  

Four summers ago I visited the Devoto Memorial Cedar Grove on Lolo Pass. This grove from the first moment I heard of it has been calling and gifting me deeply.  Each summer since hearing the first call, I have returned and included one good friend to travel the grove with me.  Each friend has experienced and brought to the Cedars' a much-needed piece.

My personal blend of sacred herbs & plants includes the cedar from this grove, my clearing tools include a large piece of bark from the Grandmother Tree magically shaped like a cedar feather fan.  Every trip has been blessed with a special harvest of needles and bark, wisdom and words, strength & courage leaving behind gifts of my love and respect.  These visits have been magic-filled.

In 2012 I was told not to go further than the first 10 feet which of course I gently challenged.  Here was my first opportunity to step into a forest filled with ancient ancestors only to be asked to leave. 

In 2013 hearing I needed to come and  harvest cedar for a special blend I was to make, we arrived and heard repeatedly 'NO not here’.  Finding nothing had fallen to the ground to gather we decided to head home.   Winding back over the pass I heard a loud "Pull off Here" command and found myself face to face with 3 large cedar trees standing with branches loaded and offering their needles for sacred use.  

Last summer brought me to the Grandmother Cedar.  She had fallen across the trail blocking access to the area where I usually make my offerings and sit to drum.  She beckoned me to lie upon her and be with her.  Feeling the life still beating within her and hearing her song as I lay there took me to a deeper understanding of the magic between trees and me, actually all of this planet and me.  I have always loved the place we call Earth.  I have ached for her and cheered with her, shed tears for her and rallied for her, knowing that she will always forgive and continue to offer love to us.  She has protected me and drawn me closer to my medicine ways.  She has taken me home through her night sky and brought me back with the waking sun.  Yet the visit last year laid me open.  It carved the path for me to really grasp what was to be shown in the months ahead.

Grandmother Cedar gifted me with memories and bark from her fallen trunk.  I took several pieces but stopped before she told me.  I stopped because I did not want to be a glutton.  This May as I prepared for my trip to Ireland & Glastonbury I gathered satchels of my sacred blend digging into my stash of cedar.  It became evident in my preparations that I would soon be out of cedar needles and would need to ask to come harvest in the grove.  As I visited Ireland I left offerings to the land and was gifted small pieces of the Irish landscape for the sacred grove here.  Glastonbury welcomed my offerings of cedar and at Og & Magog I received a piece to bring back to Grandmother.  

Shortly after my return I heard Grandmother call asking me to come and see her.  I was asked to bring a friend and was given that friends name.  This wonderful friend has a gift of healing and as soon as the invitation was offered she connected with the grove and prepared for our visit.  And now in 2015 we came to assist with the matrix as a support to a new paradigm needed for the cedars to survive.

Upon our arrival we were asked to reverse my normal routine.  First we were to go to my special sacred spot, drum, and make our offerings.  The Grove whispered its hello and delight in our visit.  Grandmother Cedar chastised me for my reluctance to take more my last visit.  Why was I so stubborn to take what had been offered?  What was this 'belief' in my excuse of gluttony?  Who was I to determine when a gift was enough?  WoW!  She was right.  Who did I think I was to 'know' what was the right amount for a gift?  Why would I put a governor on the outpouring of sacredness?

Traversing through the grove we finally came to Grandmother Cedar.  She had been cut into several pieces so the trail could be cleared.  Her heart still beat as she lay there, holding the interim Grandmother and the matrix of the grove in a supporting love.  She knew as the Grove did that the old ways of holding space upon Earth needed to change.  It could no longer fall upon one.  There was a call now for several groupings of trees to bind together and then each group would hold the next until the matrix became a honeycomb shape and support system.  We were asked to help in setting the matrix and flow.  We were also asked to partake so we could understand the need for this paradigm shift.  

Coming face to face with her once again, I was transported back to last year and my special time with her.  Knowing I was to stay open to her guidance and blessings of the gift of her bark and needles, I pulled my bag out and listened.  Gently taking her bark, needles from the branches that had begun to grow from her fallen trunk, tears flowed as I realized that soon she would be out in the world blessing homes, ceremonial fires, and altars.  I continued until I heard her tell me "Take one piece just for you, my daughter, to remember me by for I won't be here next time you come".  I gently laid the piece of offering I brought from Ireland and Glastonbury, stepping back I turned, my heart saddened yet full, knowing she would be gone when I returned.

Continuing our work it became apparent that each group of three old cedars had around them groups of three much younger trees creating a matrix of 12 that connected to the next 12.  As we worked diligently, several groups of visitors would walk along the trails in the grove, stopping occasionally to chat with us.  The entire time we worked there were no groups of 2 or 5 only the combo of 3, 9, and 12 ~ trees and humans.  Finally we found ourselves back at the opening to the grove facing  a line of male cedars guarding the grove from the highway.  We were instructed to leave them as they were ~ connected to each other but not the grove.  These cedars are the Guardians of the Grove.  This place holds so much for all who visit.  What a blessing to be asked to help.
  

Often times we think we are being respectful by our humility yet there are times when it is only our ego that declares the reasons for our humility.  When I stopped taking the gifts Grandmother Cedar offered last year out of my need to 'not take too much and be disrespectful'  I wasn't able to gift fully to others.  I had to be careful with what I used in my sacred blend and in sharing with others.  Being concerned about 'running out' brought lack to others and myself.  Had I continued to gather more of Grandmother Cedar would be out in the world today.

It is so important to listen closely and not 'read into' or let our ego interfere in our sacred work.  Whether it is in our gathering of sacred offerings, building our connections, or learning + listening from Spirit and our Soul, don't quit when You think it is time.  Stop when all goes quiet and the stillness of the sacred moment assures you that completion has happened.  

This journey we are traversing is filled with opportunities to lengthen and strengthen our connection to our Higher Soul Self and Source.  We are here to learn and grown.  Don't think because you have 'arrived' and completed course after course that you are done learning.  Oh no ~ Beware of that ego trap!  HA, Baba Yaga loves those times.

So keep on keeping on!  Learn, Laugh, and Leap!

The journey continues ~

The Soul Traveler xoxox

Fireside Chat with Crones ~ February

Having decided to change the format of these wonderful chats to the Equinox & Solstice, I found myself missing my monthly creativity.  Today I sat down, communed with spirit and compiled a short video expressing the wisdom, serenity and love of our Elders in Nature.  Enjoy!

~ The Soul Traveler

Chaos + Stillness

There has been some fast moving days over the last 10 days and it seems I have been surrounded by the usual frenzy of anticipated holiday ritual.  Perhaps my involvement in Thanksgiving & Christmas has changed by not having a close family and no children but it seems I don't get caught up in the whirlwind.  No judgement here on others rhythm only an observation of how the energy of the world can trigger each person differently. The bursts of frenzied expressions are not limited to the Holidays only somehow glaringly obvious in those times.  A slight over extension of past news can bring some to a reaction, an additional physical bump from a fellow human, or the longer whine of someone in confusion will bring out reactions that signal our being out of stillness, out of our soul rhythm.  Just as there are different humans, animals, trees, etc., there are just as many different soul rhythms giving rise at any one moment, expressing themselves into the energetic chaos we call life.

Honestly I think it is because I have now given myself permission to feel and live my expression of soul rhythm that the chaos or drama of life doesn't give rise to deeper shadow.  Early in life I was shushed into submission of any burst of energy ‘uncalled’ for in the moment or cajoled out of my quiet solitude during prescribed gatherings.  To be true to myself I did not go quietly into their chaos, always stating the obvious - why?   It is with the acceptance of shadow and light within my soul rhythm that stillness is found and a layer of wrapping is removed.

I have often sought solace behind my front door expressing a sigh of relief from the bustle in the streets.  Even at one point silently praying that dinner guests would wander off into the stillness of the night so I could breathe once again.  It was brought not so gently to my attention during that dinner's silent prayer that perhaps their desire to linger was a compliment to be embraced…. and there was still much to be shared among us.  Waiting for the stillness, the soul rhythm, to appear brought a blossoming of intimacy that would have been missed.

Understanding our need to bask in our soul rhythm is vital to moving along our path AND accepting the need for others to linger longer within our rhythm can bring about a two-fold evolution.  The key is to know you, accept others, and placing healthy boundaries.  

You see each of us have a soul rhythm that is vital to the symphony.  There is a natural still point in each of us.  It is a gift we brought into this experience.  For sure many have wrapped that gift up to the max and may never get all the trimmings removed but that shouldn't matter to us.  If we are truly moving along our soul journey then when the chaotic bumping starts acceptance and reflection will bring you back to still point.  It is our still point that is to be unwrapped, discovered, and shown to the world.  It is not our responsibility to point out to others their need to unwrap and be still.  

Chaos and stillness work hand in hand.  Think of them as the energetic fuel for movement.  Both create the ultimate desire, both are universal, both are expressions of source love.  They both reside within each other.

How can we share our ability for stillness? How can we find and begin the process of unwrapping our still point?  Do we look within each time our still point is set off balance?  Or do we strike out at the item or event that rocked our stillness?  It isn't a grand gesture that is needed, it is a simple recognition that within the walls of this lifetime there is a sacred spot that can set the stillness deeper into our world & the world outside.  What is chaos asking of us?

Think about it as you find yourself rushing about feeling the irritation whether it is on FB or other social media, in the shopping line, at work, or in your precious homes ~ Where is your stillness? Is there a layer asking to be removed?  Namaste 

And the soul journey continues..... ~The Soul Traveller

Fireside Chat with Crones - The Mythology of the Crone

Elli is the Norse Goddess of old age, who overcame the mighty Thor in a wrestling match.

Elli is the Norse Goddess of old age, who overcame the mighty Thor in a wrestling match.

So excited for the September video on Fireside Chat with Crones.  Jenn Poniatowski has joined me to chat about the mythology of the crone.  We laughed as we delved further into the crone presence which sometimes morphed to meet acceptable cultural demands yet has never completely gone.

Throughout history the crone has been present.  At one point she was said to 'eat children', remember Hansel & Gretel, always disfigured with all physical beauty gone she often sparked fear in young children and many women.  The crone as mythology speaks of courage, adaptability, and natural physical changes.  

"Crones are creator beings not just the death bringers.  They are midwives who helped birth the new & were there during the crossing over.  They were the midwives to the Other Worlds in both directions."  Jenn explains this wonderful role as we discuss bridging the gaps between generations and women as a whole.

The crone was honored throughout the world mythology.  It is only over time that the true stories and essence of the crone has been muted.  

I hope you enjoy our chat!  We certainly did!  Would love to hear your thoughts.

And the journey continues ......

The Soul Traveler




Back in the game ..... work game that is

My life is changing once again.  On a scale of 1-10 this is a change with which I am familiar so it ranks low on the scale.  I am so different now that this experience is being created from a deeper level, a shamanic level, a higher soul self, and a universal level.  This isn't a typical 8-5 existence anymore.  This is work on a soul level.  

As this knowledge and understanding was unveiling itself to me, in the midsts of confusion, doubts, and emotions, I journeyed to quell the storm that seemed to want to rise from deep within.  I wasn't looking to stop the storm I was looking for the direction through the midsts and to quiet the rushing sounds so I could hear the words that would soothe me.  It was a quick journey filled with trepidation as the fears mounted in my body only to be calmed by the warming embrace of the Universe as these words filled my head.  

"Your soul is after the growth not the money and Source will fill in where the money might appear to be thin. If your desire is to live from your soul then you need to feed it and trust that you have never been dropped. They need you as much as you will need them each day.  You are not to sit upon the mountain but to bring the mountain to them.  There is so much yet to be seen by your eyes, to be understood by your mind, to be felt by your body that will bring you deeper into your path, your Beingness.  You cannot perceive all that is about but you can perceive the depth of love present for you at this moment.  We understand the fretting, the human illusions where you co-exist, we know this is but part of being a human and we KNOW that your soul desires the ultimate expression and will not be denied.  Seek us to support your human needs and allow us to keep you in the present.  We know your human desires and we know that you have come to understand the deeper expression."  I left the journey with the first two sentences emblazoned upon tongue. 

I called and accepted employment with the Department of Developmental Disabilities for the state of Montana.  Employment that would not be meeting the minimum monthly amount for me to 'make ends meet'.  It was a $.25 an hour short. Yet it pulled me to it the first day of the interviews with the Tibetan Prayer flags adorning the reception room, the Ojo de Dios hanging in the front windows, the spontaneous laughter erupting during the interview, the truly 'casual' dress code, the honesty of needs, and yes there is great retirement and vacation benefits.  I accepted the position trusting the words I had heard spoken and within five minutes of the acceptance I was told of a 5% rate increase in November which took me above my minimum.  I laughed understanding that I do not see the entire picture.  I chortled knowing my guidance, the Universe and my soul were 'knuckle stamping' each other.  (Some may think I hold issues around money and that is not the case as I have always had exactly what I need when I need it.  I am a Pisces astrologically where money is not the ultimate desire and my numerology dictates monetary success so instinctually I balance.)

This is only a glimpse of the 3rd dimensional experience.  The capture of being present to the moment, understanding the capable aspects of Self, and willingness to trust unabashedly would reveal perceived hidden mapping of my journey.  This mapping lay hidden because I had yet to acquire all the tools to read the maps.  As I willingly dove deeper into my true essence, tools were revealed to help me read my changing maps.  Yes, there are many maps drawn for our journeys which are switched and changed based on decisions and non-decisions.  Just like maps for each state and the many countries on earth we are gifted with individual compact maps.  They are overlaid on our list of attainments adjusting as we peel and dive deeper.   Like the surveyor we adjust as the terrain changes.  

Early in my awakening, I wanted so much to no longer 'work' in the world.  Instead I desired spending my days in earnest pursuit of the deeper meanings of life and sharing those discoveries with others in workshops, in other words, sitting upon the mountain.  I tried several times leaving employment to build a practice and each time the funding dried up requiring me to return to the workplace.  Many hours have been spent in reflection seeking the 'reason' for not attaining enough financial support and non-fulfillment of my desires.  Casting doubts upon my abilities, yet seeing very clearly the impact my return to the world was having on those around me, I fretted and concluded I needed to just try harder to build a practice.  This thinking allowed the ego to implant the concept that I was not a fully realized soul if I couldn't build a practice outside of the standard employment.  

These last months of unemployment have sped quickly by taking me once again to the state of return.  There was no massive booming of a practice, there was a steady increase, a nourishing of soul, a clearing of patterns and the final realization that my soul path, my soul agreement, my most impactful place was in the work game.  It was there that the most seeds were planted, the deeper touching of soul to soul, the quiet shamanic support of community to be given, and where the Universe filled my soul path.  My ego was wrong.  I am a fully realized soul in each moment no matter if it is in standard employment or a private practice.  Shaking off the perceived 'right way' to be a spiritual being takes courage, clarity of truth, and a willingness to go against the flow.  Discarding this illusion creates freedom.

Not all of us get to leave the work world and build private practices.  Many of us are most impactful in the challenging world of constant human interaction.  We change the course of someone by being in an 8-5 job.  Having a human experience as a spiritual being entails living within the experience of non-awaken souls.  As you create the clients, the spiritual life you so deeply desire, being smack dab in the midst of the perceived chaos brings a wealth of empathy, compassion and an energetic signature of 'you know how they feel' that is invaluable and life changing.  Mother Teresa didn't sit in the convent and serve her community.  She lived among them.  The world needs all of us.  Those who are not in the world and those who are in the world.  Find value in where Spirit has you.  Go about knowing that by being you, the true and deep you, no matter what the scenery is, has value undiscovered and life-changing.  We can't all leave the world.  As you struggle within the environment of the workplace, seek the truth of the situation and trust that your soul is being fed and serving the greater whole.  Create a workplace without struggle, create a private practice within your corporate, non-profit, retail, or government job.

I no longer reflect in a wanting state of where I am going or why I am some where.  I reflect now on how I can show up as the true me.  Where is my ego still leading the way, why is this moment challenging, how can I best serve all of us, and what makes my heart sing?  These are the questions I review.  How life appears doesn't matter.  How life impacts does.  Rushing about creates chaos, walking softly blooms love, being present for every moment creates opportunity.

Taking the essence of being into the world of constant doing sets the ripples of change into motion.  Finding your practice within the world of employment leads everyone further along their soul path even when it appears otherwise.  We are not here to create scenarios.  We are here to feed our souls, uncover the illusion of separation, and walk the cosmic, divine, christed Essence into this lifetime.

If you are happy being you, you will be happy in any work you do.

And the journey continues.....

The Soul Traveler

And so .....

As the months of 2014 ebb and flow to us, I realize that I have been on a 7 month journey of unemployment insurance that has drawn to an end.  

I know without a shadow of doubt that I am not the same woman who looked out into the world on November 27, 2013.  I cannot even remember who she was.  There is a tad bit of a memory of how she felt and an understanding of her story.  There is a deeper understanding of how the story dissolved, the realization of a stronger essence of her, and a willingness to feel into the moment and hold no expectation, no opinion of what is to be. 

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Oh the journey was complete with wildness, back-ups, and delight.  It carried me to a place I had desired to hold deeply.  It carried me out into a jungle replete with tangles, rushing water, and mystery.  The adventure did not disappoint.  It has no ending.

I am truly blessed with the opportunity to focus solely on my path.  And these last 7 months allowed a deeper involvement into uncovering this path.  It enabled me to bring into my daily life a realization of how my path, even the search of it, was individualized from others. 

Through this time a stronger concise understanding of who I was, coupled with a releasing of old patterns and beliefs, balanced by acceptance of the value of illusion moved me into an empathy of self and my community.  The freedom to lay about, wander the mountain top, grovel in the frustrations, and epitomize standardization pushed me to turn and deny the existence of self; to die to myself as I had never imagined.

There has been a shamans death experience, a mystics evaporation, and yet what I was being asked for did not contain another level of these prerequisites to soul evolution.  I have experienced a burning to the ground, the severing of the leash, but I had not experienced the dying to myself.  The dying took place sudden with the realization of the ask, moved into flowing with the demands of daily life, and ended in an ancient ritual that almost seemed uneventful.  It was the forward motion after the dying that emphasized the Divine's request.  

Every time I looked to draw a frame of reference the screen was blank.  It wasn't just the screen of Future but the screen of Past that lay black and empty.  Only the place of Here and Now held any form or design.  Anything presenting itself to me was met with nothing but what I knew to be true for me.  Trying to decipher anything has been unsettling.

The unsettling is not in being unable to fit in or know the direction.  The unsettling is learning to walk completely within the present.  It is learning that where I once related in life with others is non-existent and non-essential.  It is non-identifying.  It cannot relate to me as much as I cannot relate to it.  In the midst of all of it, there is laughter, joy, tears, love, and a completeness.  A focus of all is finished within itself bringing with it a solid sense of self without identity.  

Spirit has said others have experienced this and many will join in the dying to themselves.  Everyone will be offered, not all will accept, and all will continue along their path.

Having words to express this past 9 months has been very difficult.  Having words to express this newest endeavor has been even more difficult.  It has not mattered that there are no words.  It does not matter if I ever climb the mountain top, it no longer matters what I hold dear, where I wander, who I meet or don't meet, how I show up to the world is all that matters.  Do I come with my heart open, my mind quiet, my eyes bright, my ears listening, and my tongue gentle? Do I come willing to share everything including the unacceptable?  Do I come each day willing to make it a good day to die?  Do I come prepared to return to the primordial juices?  Am I willing to live outside the perceived existence of all that matters?  Am I willing to be the ancient?  Am I willing to hold past, present, future completely within me?

These questions may seem to be those we all ask ourselves daily.  This time there is a very large difference in asking them.  We all know being who we truly are means living with hearts open, mind quiet, listening, no opinions, etc., and yet this is different.  

Dying to yourself means you cannot do anything else but show up as an unidentifiable person.  You cannot be You.  You can only Be.

The Soul Traveler

 

Shifting .... time

One wonderful gift I have, is shifting time.  Unaware of what I was doing for most of my youth, I would be amazed at the ability to move through a difficult time very quickly, stretch out in a marvelous moment, and change traffic signals.  It was the ability to change traffic signals that woke me up to my little gift.  Yes, those too long lingering stop lights especially when one is late to an event!  My first realization became a game very quickly.  Counting to 5 as I said out loud, "Change now" to watching the series of lights ahead in downtown Denver change with each planned blink of my eye as I never altered my speed developed a realization of the illusion I lived.  This playfulness became a salve to my road weary heart.  It taught me a wisdom I did not realize I had.  Time became my secret.  Time was my best friend.  Time allowed me to shape shift and led me to my soul path.  Well, actually, time is my path.  

It was in realizing the essence of time and the illusion we had created around it that I began to fulfill my desire to be who I truly was.  

In the moments that I believed I needed to fulfill the dreams of family, friends, society, I disconnected to my ability to shift time, my connection to my soul, and my heart became weary.  When I bought into the demands of those living within our perceived time constraints the only way to remove myself was to play with Time.  It was those moments caught in abusive turmoil that time became my ally.  I did not leave my body or disassociate from self when I remembered to shift into a time filled with the end.  I know this explanation borders on "psychological dissociation" but it is not.  I know when I created means by which to cope with the abuse.  I am referring to using time to alter the illusion and repair the wound.

A shaman using an altered state travels to the time and space of soul loss.  It is by shifting time that a shaman retrieves the lost soul piece and returns it to the client.  

So even in times of abuse or trauma, never having completely separated from any of my soul gifts especially the gift of shifting time, I was able to lessen the soul loss around these events.  I did not realize what I was capable of doing in the moment, it wasn't until later that this abilities deeper essence was revealed.

Because we are not broken and do not need to be fixed, we have always used our gifts to move through our life and experience those events and moments that will bring us back home to ourselves and the Divine.  It is when we use time that we can reflect upon our abilities to remember who we truly are.  Every one of us takes time to look "back" upon our lives to learn.  We may not do this consciously as in "Hey I want to see why I experienced this loss, abuse, trauma, reward, etc." but we do reflect every moment of every day.  As we are moving through traffic we are reflecting upon where we came from, we are looking to where we are going, and maintain a strong awareness of where we are.  We have to do this to drive our cars.

Do you honestly think you don't do this with everything in your life?  Come now be honest.  As your discussion with your partner escalates up or down are you not reviewing what got you here and how fast you can get to the other side?  

Guess what?  You just used Time to shift the moment at hand.  Now lets do it with a sense of deliberate outcome.  

As a shaman, I listen to your story, looking for the exact place in time where the soul loss that is impacting you now needs resolution.  That moment or time is suspended in a dimensional latitude that spins timelessly waiting for the impactful moment to collide and bring it forward to move your soul further along your path.  In an altered state or a time shift I journey to the moment moving through dimensions and time to retrieve and bring it to you.  Time is fluid.  As in a stream or ocean it moves continually upon itself creating and recreating.  It never begins nor ends.  It shifts us, itself, and eternity continually.  Collapsing upon itself it is giving birth to a never ending beginning.  Remembering, as we know it, allows time to lead us deeper into all that we are.  Grasping this concept even fleetingly without over thinking brings awareness.  The altered dimensional moment uses time to refocus and create.  It splinters the outcome across many realities shifting past, present, future, parallel lives and experiences simultaneously.

A simple game of change the traffic light becomes a catalyst for shifting realities.

What time game is waiting for you?

The journey continues ~

The Soul Traveler

 

The Lady of the River

I am a water baby at heart.  A Pisces that has been land-locked most of her life must take the time to really refuel with water.  Lately I have been craving a float in the fueling waters of this planet.  Just to sit and hear the movement, feel the caress, and absorb the nourishment for my soul.  Daily I walk upon the crust of Gaia grateful for the opportunity to commune with her and her creatures.  I love smelling the scents of the trees and grasses, glimpsing the wildlife and soaring with the bird tribe, and yet my soul is drawn to the water.

Today I gave in.

I loaded my pack with offerings.  I pulled one container of moon ceremony waters that raised its hand, gently securing it deep within my pack next to my favorite Hobbs.  Hobbs travels everywhere with me.  He is my tool of comfort for those who cannot find it.  Today Hobbs is joining me at the river.  Hobbs will bring the water medicine home for future use.

My first stop proved to be uninterested in fulfilling my request.  No worries.  Knowing this place would fill it for others I turned around to travel further down the road.  Spying a turnoff I made a sudden decision and turned left across the highway.  For 10 minutes I journeyed east towards the river and Poker Joe's fishing access.  Discovering only one car in the lot I pulled in placing my car squarely in the shade.  It was still early.  The sun travels slowly west this time of year leaving shade available for most of my planned time.

I followed the trail stepping around mud puddles moving further into the brush.  It was a well worn trail even indicating a quad-wheel had recently been through leaving scars in the deep grass.  It was quiet as I removed my sunglasses to see clearer.  Finally I came out into a clearing.  It was obviously the river had come this far in this spring.  Large trees littered the sandy rock filled ground before me.  The river still lay 500 feet further east.  Spotting the fisherman I turned away heading left picking my way toward the bank.  

Finding the edge where I wanted to settle I asked the river permission to join her for the day.  Quietly she meandered by beckoning me to sit for a conversation.  The breeze was strong enough to take the heat from the rocks, blowing away any chance of a candle or smudge, still leaving me refreshed and cleared.   

The remnants of moon-bathed chocolate cake came out to be sprinkled across her ripples in offering to the water sprites that danced.  Chuckling to myself I wondered if my activity would draw the trout away from the fisherman as I continued with my offerings of cedar, salt, and lavender.  Sensing something behind me I glanced up as a large blue heron graced the stark blue sky melding into the rhythm of the breeze.  Distracted in my thoughts to grab my phone, turning I ignored the request and watched her elegant flight.  Stillness settled as I felt drawn back to the river and her rhythm.  

With a sigh I released all my worries, aspirations, and plans to her as I called my guides and star family to this moment.  My body refreshed itself in the sounds of her lapping the shore carrying everything away. Trout jumped at the dragonflies skipping across enticing them in play.  I watched as an osprey soared carrying my dreams home.  

Closing my eyes the Spirit of the Bitterroot River glided across towards me.  She offered her wisdom.  Her deeper understanding of the part we each hold was gifted as I quietly poured my water offering into her depths.  Tears spilled sending ripples into her.  Slowly I stepped out into her allowing the washing and anointing.  My soul sang with each step.   As I returned to my spot a dark little frog hopped across my path a perfect gift to seal the moment.

Finally the river released me.  Packing to head home I heard the request to bring my drum next week so she could teach me a new song.  Be sure to bring lunch she said your body will need the nourishment.  Delighted I turned to leave.

Heading back across unfamiliar ground I made the choice to follow the call.  Soon I found myself watching the blue heron fishing.  As she elegantly stood in silence she stole a glance of me.  I swore she winked as I tiptoed closer.  This time I knew a photo was appropriate.  Clicking away I watched as she fished mesmerized by her beauty and presence.

Knowing it was time to return I found myself startled each time I startled the bird tribes hidden on the trail.  Laughing I heard the chatter of the black chipmunk above me as he warned those ahead.  I tried, unsuccessfully, to capture him.  He blended in the dark burnt bark of the trees.

Blessings abound for me.  I am constantly in awe at how Source gifts, loves, and teaches us.  Holding yourself in humility and love offers opportunities for simple affirmations of the grandeur of life.  I cherish this land and feel its calls deeply.  It is the waters that fill me with ancient memories.  They are very sacred to me.  Pouring my moon water back into her filled me with gratitude.  Humbly I realized how small I was compared to her, the Bitterroot River, and all the waters she represented.  I hold sacred my calling to care for these waters.  My part is small, this I know.  Yet each day I offer in prayer for the care of our waters supports the larger picture.

She wanders long and deep carrying our earliest memories and the truth of who we truly are.  One day she will bring us all home.

The Soul Traveler