The Journey Continues .... and we all join

Wow what a year so far it has been for so many. 

So many significant events have come, gone and some still carry on, that the chaos of change has, and I think I can say honestly, all of us swirling!

Standing Rock called everyone out of the sleep! It asked us were we really serious about protecting this planet, our children and grand children, and standing on the brink for what we believed was true.  It also held up to us who we might be appropriating an expression of spirituality that wasn't ours. 

Black Live Matter showed us our privilege as a White race. It really asked us to own it or go home. 

The election of Donald Trump showed us how deeply asleep we were, how disconnected from each other, and asked us were we really serious about equality and freedom.

Still the journey continues and how are we going to travel? What is really important to you? Do you really walk your talk? Is your spirituality based on Indigenous tribes that aren't our ancestry? Is our privilege harming those we say we fight to protect?

Is love and light going to change the world? Is the love we say we offer strong enough?

Are we sharing and teaching from our ancestral medicine? Are we sharing and teaching to make a buck?  Is our wildness really ours? Is it really expressed? Do we own it?

These are questions that only we can answer. 

For me, I have focused my uncovering on my ancestral medicine. As I learn, I am finding that other memories, doorways, and mentors enter my life. My ancestral wisdom and healing comes flowing up into my consciousness. The unconscious patterns come forward. I have a choice to change them, create healing around them or embrace them as a way of being. There is a wisdom in the simple life they lived. Yes it was hard and often short but it was full and free. I am not naive enough to think the Irish famine was a walk in the park or any other hardship many of our ancestors experienced. Slavery certainly wasn't a joy. It was filled with violence and hatred.

Our ancestors did find a moment to love and feel joy. A human experience isn't without its pitfalls and persecutions. I do believe that they had a connection to the land that we only glimpse. They had a connection to a deeper story steeped in a sacred living. It was this deeper sacred story that helped them to wake each morning. It helped them to bring life into the world that was harsh. 

As I relinquish the many possessions in my life I find a simplicity. I have more time to be on the land whether it is in hiking or walking around town. I am in the world enjoying its various flavors and humans. My ancestral medicine contains within it a responsibility to protect, preserve, love, and relish the land, these crazy humans, and amazing animals. It is the combination of this spiritual ownership with the celebration of our value that brings about joy, strength and eventually change.

I would gladly go back to the Neolithic Age where we lived in communion with the land, people and animals. Where the magic of our life sustained us and helped to birth new life. When we looked to the Stars and knew we were connected to a greater expansive existence. When we didn't need to conquer in order to feel whole.

As white Europeans, especially Americans, we have lost our medicine. This loss has created a constant search for wholeness. Our souls ache, our bodies ache, our minds wander in search for the magic, the connection, and the communion our ancestors knew.

For me it is time to own the past, present and future darkness of hatred and greed as well as the lightness of the joys and love. 

Join me, there is room for all.

Traveling on ~

The Soul Traveler

Chaos + Stillness

There has been some fast moving days over the last 10 days and it seems I have been surrounded by the usual frenzy of anticipated holiday ritual.  Perhaps my involvement in Thanksgiving & Christmas has changed by not having a close family and no children but it seems I don't get caught up in the whirlwind.  No judgement here on others rhythm only an observation of how the energy of the world can trigger each person differently. The bursts of frenzied expressions are not limited to the Holidays only somehow glaringly obvious in those times.  A slight over extension of past news can bring some to a reaction, an additional physical bump from a fellow human, or the longer whine of someone in confusion will bring out reactions that signal our being out of stillness, out of our soul rhythm.  Just as there are different humans, animals, trees, etc., there are just as many different soul rhythms giving rise at any one moment, expressing themselves into the energetic chaos we call life.

Honestly I think it is because I have now given myself permission to feel and live my expression of soul rhythm that the chaos or drama of life doesn't give rise to deeper shadow.  Early in life I was shushed into submission of any burst of energy ‘uncalled’ for in the moment or cajoled out of my quiet solitude during prescribed gatherings.  To be true to myself I did not go quietly into their chaos, always stating the obvious - why?   It is with the acceptance of shadow and light within my soul rhythm that stillness is found and a layer of wrapping is removed.

I have often sought solace behind my front door expressing a sigh of relief from the bustle in the streets.  Even at one point silently praying that dinner guests would wander off into the stillness of the night so I could breathe once again.  It was brought not so gently to my attention during that dinner's silent prayer that perhaps their desire to linger was a compliment to be embraced…. and there was still much to be shared among us.  Waiting for the stillness, the soul rhythm, to appear brought a blossoming of intimacy that would have been missed.

Understanding our need to bask in our soul rhythm is vital to moving along our path AND accepting the need for others to linger longer within our rhythm can bring about a two-fold evolution.  The key is to know you, accept others, and placing healthy boundaries.  

You see each of us have a soul rhythm that is vital to the symphony.  There is a natural still point in each of us.  It is a gift we brought into this experience.  For sure many have wrapped that gift up to the max and may never get all the trimmings removed but that shouldn't matter to us.  If we are truly moving along our soul journey then when the chaotic bumping starts acceptance and reflection will bring you back to still point.  It is our still point that is to be unwrapped, discovered, and shown to the world.  It is not our responsibility to point out to others their need to unwrap and be still.  

Chaos and stillness work hand in hand.  Think of them as the energetic fuel for movement.  Both create the ultimate desire, both are universal, both are expressions of source love.  They both reside within each other.

How can we share our ability for stillness? How can we find and begin the process of unwrapping our still point?  Do we look within each time our still point is set off balance?  Or do we strike out at the item or event that rocked our stillness?  It isn't a grand gesture that is needed, it is a simple recognition that within the walls of this lifetime there is a sacred spot that can set the stillness deeper into our world & the world outside.  What is chaos asking of us?

Think about it as you find yourself rushing about feeling the irritation whether it is on FB or other social media, in the shopping line, at work, or in your precious homes ~ Where is your stillness? Is there a layer asking to be removed?  Namaste 

And the soul journey continues..... ~The Soul Traveller

Back in the game ..... work game that is

My life is changing once again.  On a scale of 1-10 this is a change with which I am familiar so it ranks low on the scale.  I am so different now that this experience is being created from a deeper level, a shamanic level, a higher soul self, and a universal level.  This isn't a typical 8-5 existence anymore.  This is work on a soul level.  

As this knowledge and understanding was unveiling itself to me, in the midsts of confusion, doubts, and emotions, I journeyed to quell the storm that seemed to want to rise from deep within.  I wasn't looking to stop the storm I was looking for the direction through the midsts and to quiet the rushing sounds so I could hear the words that would soothe me.  It was a quick journey filled with trepidation as the fears mounted in my body only to be calmed by the warming embrace of the Universe as these words filled my head.  

"Your soul is after the growth not the money and Source will fill in where the money might appear to be thin. If your desire is to live from your soul then you need to feed it and trust that you have never been dropped. They need you as much as you will need them each day.  You are not to sit upon the mountain but to bring the mountain to them.  There is so much yet to be seen by your eyes, to be understood by your mind, to be felt by your body that will bring you deeper into your path, your Beingness.  You cannot perceive all that is about but you can perceive the depth of love present for you at this moment.  We understand the fretting, the human illusions where you co-exist, we know this is but part of being a human and we KNOW that your soul desires the ultimate expression and will not be denied.  Seek us to support your human needs and allow us to keep you in the present.  We know your human desires and we know that you have come to understand the deeper expression."  I left the journey with the first two sentences emblazoned upon tongue. 

I called and accepted employment with the Department of Developmental Disabilities for the state of Montana.  Employment that would not be meeting the minimum monthly amount for me to 'make ends meet'.  It was a $.25 an hour short. Yet it pulled me to it the first day of the interviews with the Tibetan Prayer flags adorning the reception room, the Ojo de Dios hanging in the front windows, the spontaneous laughter erupting during the interview, the truly 'casual' dress code, the honesty of needs, and yes there is great retirement and vacation benefits.  I accepted the position trusting the words I had heard spoken and within five minutes of the acceptance I was told of a 5% rate increase in November which took me above my minimum.  I laughed understanding that I do not see the entire picture.  I chortled knowing my guidance, the Universe and my soul were 'knuckle stamping' each other.  (Some may think I hold issues around money and that is not the case as I have always had exactly what I need when I need it.  I am a Pisces astrologically where money is not the ultimate desire and my numerology dictates monetary success so instinctually I balance.)

This is only a glimpse of the 3rd dimensional experience.  The capture of being present to the moment, understanding the capable aspects of Self, and willingness to trust unabashedly would reveal perceived hidden mapping of my journey.  This mapping lay hidden because I had yet to acquire all the tools to read the maps.  As I willingly dove deeper into my true essence, tools were revealed to help me read my changing maps.  Yes, there are many maps drawn for our journeys which are switched and changed based on decisions and non-decisions.  Just like maps for each state and the many countries on earth we are gifted with individual compact maps.  They are overlaid on our list of attainments adjusting as we peel and dive deeper.   Like the surveyor we adjust as the terrain changes.  

Early in my awakening, I wanted so much to no longer 'work' in the world.  Instead I desired spending my days in earnest pursuit of the deeper meanings of life and sharing those discoveries with others in workshops, in other words, sitting upon the mountain.  I tried several times leaving employment to build a practice and each time the funding dried up requiring me to return to the workplace.  Many hours have been spent in reflection seeking the 'reason' for not attaining enough financial support and non-fulfillment of my desires.  Casting doubts upon my abilities, yet seeing very clearly the impact my return to the world was having on those around me, I fretted and concluded I needed to just try harder to build a practice.  This thinking allowed the ego to implant the concept that I was not a fully realized soul if I couldn't build a practice outside of the standard employment.  

These last months of unemployment have sped quickly by taking me once again to the state of return.  There was no massive booming of a practice, there was a steady increase, a nourishing of soul, a clearing of patterns and the final realization that my soul path, my soul agreement, my most impactful place was in the work game.  It was there that the most seeds were planted, the deeper touching of soul to soul, the quiet shamanic support of community to be given, and where the Universe filled my soul path.  My ego was wrong.  I am a fully realized soul in each moment no matter if it is in standard employment or a private practice.  Shaking off the perceived 'right way' to be a spiritual being takes courage, clarity of truth, and a willingness to go against the flow.  Discarding this illusion creates freedom.

Not all of us get to leave the work world and build private practices.  Many of us are most impactful in the challenging world of constant human interaction.  We change the course of someone by being in an 8-5 job.  Having a human experience as a spiritual being entails living within the experience of non-awaken souls.  As you create the clients, the spiritual life you so deeply desire, being smack dab in the midst of the perceived chaos brings a wealth of empathy, compassion and an energetic signature of 'you know how they feel' that is invaluable and life changing.  Mother Teresa didn't sit in the convent and serve her community.  She lived among them.  The world needs all of us.  Those who are not in the world and those who are in the world.  Find value in where Spirit has you.  Go about knowing that by being you, the true and deep you, no matter what the scenery is, has value undiscovered and life-changing.  We can't all leave the world.  As you struggle within the environment of the workplace, seek the truth of the situation and trust that your soul is being fed and serving the greater whole.  Create a workplace without struggle, create a private practice within your corporate, non-profit, retail, or government job.

I no longer reflect in a wanting state of where I am going or why I am some where.  I reflect now on how I can show up as the true me.  Where is my ego still leading the way, why is this moment challenging, how can I best serve all of us, and what makes my heart sing?  These are the questions I review.  How life appears doesn't matter.  How life impacts does.  Rushing about creates chaos, walking softly blooms love, being present for every moment creates opportunity.

Taking the essence of being into the world of constant doing sets the ripples of change into motion.  Finding your practice within the world of employment leads everyone further along their soul path even when it appears otherwise.  We are not here to create scenarios.  We are here to feed our souls, uncover the illusion of separation, and walk the cosmic, divine, christed Essence into this lifetime.

If you are happy being you, you will be happy in any work you do.

And the journey continues.....

The Soul Traveler

After the Mist ....

For 5 days we have had rain and more rain and low clouds with the sun refusing to shine daily except for one bright Wednesday morning for exactly 2 hours followed by a deluge of rain for 24 hours.  This isn't a normal phenomenon here.  Yes, June can be a very rainy month but this isn't the Pacific NW and the sun generally rules the day.  

For me, the symbol searcher and metaphor masher, I found myself reflecting on this pattern for insight into the bigger picture.  Refusing to dwell on the obvious of "not more rain" coupled with the pouty "I want sunshine" I found myself investigating my true reaction to this turn of weather.  

Coupled with the Full Moon where I relished the release of what I perceived to be stumbling blocks I have been gifted with visitors to my humble abode.  This timing was perfect to help deflect any insights I felt would follow my full moon ceremony.  Spending time with friends is always motivating fun filled with opportunities to connect deeper.  It is also time that takes one out of your normal patterns and brings a smidgeon of chaos.  It is a time that asks you to connect on a deeper soul level with another human, another soul, another traveler bringing you to a new level of soul identity.

Sitting watching the mist swirl forth from my surroundings my soul nudged me to find my new soul identity and either claim it or not.  Could I really actualize and relish my new connections and identity?  Was I willing to leave behind a pattern of solitude?  Would this short time spent with others in my home and life open me to a better understanding?  Is the direction spent the last 7 months the only direction?

Garnering all my reflections, I realized soon I would be leaving the course of my life and embarking upon another direction, another journey that would lead me deeper into my soul identity.  This journey would include more interaction.  It would be filled with other soul travelers embarking on their new levels of identity.  My community was calling.  It was asking me to leave my pattern of solitude, my cave of reflection, and come forth out of the mist.

Was I up to this request?  Could I still set aside solitude, creation time, and be watchful of old patterning and denial?  As the mist moved up and out of my space I knew like it I was ready.  I could be the mist and its the aftermath, life.  

We are not defined by our patterns.  We are not defined by our friends, our body, our work, or our words.  Everything is fluid.  Everything is mist.  All life, all identity comes as mist and it is us who brings into the world.  We are the mist.  We form and swirl creating our life.  We are then asked to release and awaken into the light allowing it to feed us drawing us out of the separation.  It asks us to relish the time of the mist.  It asks us to be the time after the mist.

For me I know what time it is.  What about you?

xoxoxo

The Soul Traveler

the big T ....

My life hasn't been much different from everyone else's.  It has stories that books are written about, yes, and yet those stories don't define me.  It is often hard for me to really recall all the emotion and drama of most of my life now.  What still comes up are the parts and pieces that I still cling to for identity.  I laughed at myself the other day as I sat for morning prayers begging for focus to continue writing on my book or just finish one of my many projects.  Looking up I noticed I had placed a heart shaped chalk board with the words, "I release my inability to focus to the Universe, love teri" as a tool to help me.  As I sat there totally frustrated, begging Brigid to help with inspiration, a flash of clarity zipped through my mind.  Duh!  Release!  I burst out laughing, threw my hands up, had a V8 moment and released.  Immediately I felt the difference.  I felt the release.  I stood up, bowed in gratitude, poured more coffee and began to write.  I finished two chapters, wrote my e-course, went to yoga, and still had 6 hours before bed. 

Asking for help and then getting out of the way is crucial.  It takes trust.  Trust in your beliefs.  Trust in you.  Trust that your ego doesn't run the show.  How many times have you found yourself asking for help and then hemmed and hawed over the help?  Do you allow your friends to help you?  Do you even ask for help?  What I see so often when a friend refuses to ask for help, is that they don't trust themselves.  I know that sounds odd.  Shouldn't it be they don't trust others?  No actually.  Trusting comes from you first.

Trusting others comes after you learn to trust yourself. 

Trust so often gets buried deep.  It is the first thing that gets challenged.  You can experience its lack the moment you are born or within the first years of your life.  As the veil draws down and your ego blossoms, trust disappears.  Forgetting who you are comes from losing trust. 

As my life unfolded and I journeyed through dark valleys what kept the fire burning to find a way through was my trust.  I trusted that it would end.  I trusted in finding help.  I trusted that the choice I had made would not kill me.  I trusted I KNEW the reason.

I trusted ME.  In trusting me I finally let go of needing a reason for anything in my life.  The ME I trusted was soul and its divine connection to Source.  When trusting others was dashed I trusted me.  I am not talking about pie in the sky trust.  Believe me I can feel when someone who should not be trusted walks into my space.  I have met many a person not worthy of trust.  I trust me and my ability to sense even those who are not to be trusted.  In this process I deepened my connection unfolding who I truly was in the process.

When I find myself conflicted I ask "are you trusting?"  Are you?

xoxox ~ The Soul Traveler