The Journey Continues .... and we all join

Wow what a year so far it has been for so many. 

So many significant events have come, gone and some still carry on, that the chaos of change has, and I think I can say honestly, all of us swirling!

Standing Rock called everyone out of the sleep! It asked us were we really serious about protecting this planet, our children and grand children, and standing on the brink for what we believed was true.  It also held up to us who we might be appropriating an expression of spirituality that wasn't ours. 

Black Live Matter showed us our privilege as a White race. It really asked us to own it or go home. 

The election of Donald Trump showed us how deeply asleep we were, how disconnected from each other, and asked us were we really serious about equality and freedom.

Still the journey continues and how are we going to travel? What is really important to you? Do you really walk your talk? Is your spirituality based on Indigenous tribes that aren't our ancestry? Is our privilege harming those we say we fight to protect?

Is love and light going to change the world? Is the love we say we offer strong enough?

Are we sharing and teaching from our ancestral medicine? Are we sharing and teaching to make a buck?  Is our wildness really ours? Is it really expressed? Do we own it?

These are questions that only we can answer. 

For me, I have focused my uncovering on my ancestral medicine. As I learn, I am finding that other memories, doorways, and mentors enter my life. My ancestral wisdom and healing comes flowing up into my consciousness. The unconscious patterns come forward. I have a choice to change them, create healing around them or embrace them as a way of being. There is a wisdom in the simple life they lived. Yes it was hard and often short but it was full and free. I am not naive enough to think the Irish famine was a walk in the park or any other hardship many of our ancestors experienced. Slavery certainly wasn't a joy. It was filled with violence and hatred.

Our ancestors did find a moment to love and feel joy. A human experience isn't without its pitfalls and persecutions. I do believe that they had a connection to the land that we only glimpse. They had a connection to a deeper story steeped in a sacred living. It was this deeper sacred story that helped them to wake each morning. It helped them to bring life into the world that was harsh. 

As I relinquish the many possessions in my life I find a simplicity. I have more time to be on the land whether it is in hiking or walking around town. I am in the world enjoying its various flavors and humans. My ancestral medicine contains within it a responsibility to protect, preserve, love, and relish the land, these crazy humans, and amazing animals. It is the combination of this spiritual ownership with the celebration of our value that brings about joy, strength and eventually change.

I would gladly go back to the Neolithic Age where we lived in communion with the land, people and animals. Where the magic of our life sustained us and helped to birth new life. When we looked to the Stars and knew we were connected to a greater expansive existence. When we didn't need to conquer in order to feel whole.

As white Europeans, especially Americans, we have lost our medicine. This loss has created a constant search for wholeness. Our souls ache, our bodies ache, our minds wander in search for the magic, the connection, and the communion our ancestors knew.

For me it is time to own the past, present and future darkness of hatred and greed as well as the lightness of the joys and love. 

Join me, there is room for all.

Traveling on ~

The Soul Traveler

Winter Conversations ..... Cold + Dark = Quiet Wisdom

Tonight a friend stopped in to talk.  It wasn’t a chat.  He needed to talk.  

He spoke about feeling lonely, not alone. He spoke specifically about feeling lonely. The lonely that happens when you make decisions that other’s might not agree on as the best option. The lonely that happens when after 10 minutes no one has texted or called. The lonely that occurs when winter hits and you cannot go outside.

The Lonely ~ the lonely that hits even when you are surrounded by a dozen friends, in the company of your life partner, when you sit in a meeting of peers at work, the lonely that hits when your family doesn’t see you.  It is the lonely that happens at birth and arrives to finally meet you at death. It is the lonely that is the ‘curse’ of being human in the current world. Let’s be honest the lonely that has been here for generation after generation.  It is the lonely that drives us to kill not only each other but also this planet and its animals.  Those animals we are jealous of because they do not know loneliness.  The dogs, cats, wolves, deer, eagles, elephants, and other animals that understand aloneness + community does NOT = loneliness.

Right now we are all feeling alone in America. Many can raise their hands high in acknowledgement that NO one has heard them for years.  They may never admit they are lonely. They will stand tall + swagger but we can all see past the veneer. This hoopla around our next President isn't the cause only the visible ulcer.  This goes far deeper and wider.

Loneliness is personal and universal.  We came in alone by not lonely.  We will die alone yet it we don’t have to be lonely.  

Loneliness is driven by the denial of self value. Our current culture (especially western white culture) does not nurture a whole self identity. It does not understand the value of the connection to our inner self. Because of this it perpetuates the denial of the value of Community as nurturer and the self within that community. The Quakers used the identifiers of Thee and Thou to bring inclusion into the self thus creating the understanding of the value of self within the community.  Many religious practices exclude self, deny the value of nurturance, and through the exclusion create a community of loneliness.  

Standing Rock exposes the loneliness within our culture. As a cultural phenomenon to the western world, Standing Rock shows how the acceptance of the value of self within a community through ancestral spiritual practices of inclusion, loneliness is removed and courage, integrity, self love, and the ability to value all life is expressed in daily interactions.  

We are not all of First Nation blood so what could my friend do to help embrace his loneliness?  

There are options available ~ A spiritual practice to quiet the mind and connect the higher self to him. A spiritual practice that allows for interaction between the higher self and him releasing the long held generational beliefs. A spiritual practice that gives value to community.

A willingness to say I no longer want to exclude myself.  A willingness to see the pain of loneliness in others, especially those we believe are not lonely. 

A clearer understanding of the concept “we create our experiences” and it is within our control to banish or build all aspects of our life.

Finding his ancestral spiritual lineage.  

There are many other options available to grasp the loneliness we experience. Each are individual as to their benefit.  There is no One Size Fits All.  I suggested he try many different avenues to find the right fit. The one that draws him, intrigues him.  Intrigue will fuel his desire to embrace his loneliness. His loneliness, when embraced, will bring to the world compassion and right action.

The dark, cold winter is designed for reflection. It doesn’t allow distractions to take our pains away. It refuses to hear the excuses and demands we find the courage to take a stand. Winter is our best ally in forming our convictions. If you can turn and face the adversary in the dark + cold, you can face them in light and ease.

No one is ever alone. There may be times when you feel loneliness. Remember many are here with you right now in this moment. Shine brighter.

Traveling on,
Teri ~ The Soul Traveler

Time and Time and ..... Time Again

"Make me your friend," Time whispers.  "Don't hate me for not filling your day fuller, or so full you can't breathe. Remember I am but the limits you believe exist."

We wander through life following a clock.  We are taught to set goals for the future and remember the past.  We are not told how to live in the present.

Time is presented to us as a dictator.  We are led to believe that we must rush through our life succumbing to its will.  The sound of our mother's heartbeat from the womb is replaced by the tick ticking of an inanimate object.  Driven by a set number we rush through our life only occasionally rebelling against its chains.  We think Time requires us to be lead around in a constant circle.  

We practice meditation daily only to run off to the next appointment we managed to squeeze in to yet another day. How often do we purposely bring the non-time of meditation into our work day or weekend plans?

Each of us has our own perspective of Time.  We use it to accomplish our living, mark memories or milestones, and allow it to lead us forward.

Time does not exist.  It is our buy-in to segment our life that determines its control.  If Time doesn't exist then what does that really mean + why would we care?

Our ancestors used Time as a natural rhythm.  Sleep + waking were the determining points.  The sun came up, they rose.  Sun set, they slept.  As days lengthened hunting + planting lasted longer. Days shortened hunting became a quick sport and they relied upon what harvest came from the plantings of the longer days.  There was not a giant clock nailed to the trees, ticking away to drive their days.  They marked their lives from the seasons and rhythms of the sun + moon.  The stars portended the future.  The moon reminded them of the day just ended ~ the past.  Their present was marked by the sun as it moved across the sky.

Now we live here with the aspect of Time glaring down from his mighty perch, barking out measured steps to be completed each day.  Our children's arrivals are measured in weeks, the longer calculation, instead of the vagueness of months.  There is a celebration for every passage of time.  Constantly we are shown the greatness of Time.  A languished moment is heralded with criticism and offered up as a treat.

How we got here would be another 10 pages.  How we arrived is not as important as how we release this dependency on Time.  We can all agree we are in a world running faster and faster.  We are totally enmeshed in the barbs of time.

Each of us use some form of meditation.  These practices are generally our first introduction to moving out of time. As we leave our meditations we sense the calm space, an altered space, surrounding us and it appears to be drifting away.  You experience this same sensation when you are caught up in something enjoyable and not so enjoyable.  It is the altered state of full immersion into the Present that lengths or shortens our concept of time. Time truly is an illusion.  Playing with that illusion will break down the mental and physical constraints.  

Try for 45 days a few of these games and see what transpires.  Nothing tricky or 'time-consuming' to this play.     Enjoy ~

1.) Rid yourself of all clocks. Yes turn your phone over :)

2.) Each traffic light you approach that is RED state: 'Change, change, change'.  Make note each time it changes to green.

3.) Each traffic light you approach that is GREEN state: 'Stay, stay, stay'. Make note of the times it stays green and you pass on through.

4.) Using the appointments you have during a week, pick one each day (even if the only one is getting to + from work) as you head to the appointment say, "Stretch, stretch, stretch'. Make a note when you arrive with time to spare and when you don't.

Each week during the 45 days review your results.  Mark down any feelings or reactions recording when one was easy, fun or difficult.  Note any resistance.  These simple exercises will asset you in learning how to stretch time, fold time, and break down the assertion that Time exists.

Learning to play will help shift your mind & its reality of the need for time and heighten your bodies acceptance of freedom.  Time play + shifting = a mental, physical, and spiritual understanding of what is reality.

Traveling on out of time ~

Teri ~ The Soul Traveler

Quiet or Quit ???

It has been quiet from my voice or have I quit?

I have been absent in the sense of the expected.  I have not been absent or quiet from the yearning, the learning, the living. Oh not at all!

Not being one who harbors unresolved explanations of the current situations to the extreme (HA what a mouth full) but one who tires others in my constant reflection (welcome to a Pisceans world), of how best to be, I must admit that the world carries on without us.

Like all of us I have been involved with the daily aspects of living.  Gratitude abounds for the myriad of interactions in my day.  Be it work, supporting clients, training for a 1/2 marathon, or the necessary gathering of food, bills, and housing, my day is often beset with distractions.  Being fortunate that alone time makes up most of my day, I can reflect upon the different ways to enrich my life.  

Growing up I would become overwhelmed quickly with any task that required complicated explanations of how to go about completing them.  In other words, I would go TWILT with too much sensory overload.  The simpler the explanation, the cleaner the directions, the quicker I accomplished the necessary steps and moved on.  I was besieged in school with the label of 'lacks the ability to follow directions'. Perhaps to them but I got everything done. Maybe not how they viewed it should be but I completed the requirements none-the-less.   

I had thoughts of quitting.  Silencing my voice so I fit in the crowd.  Giving in to the demands to do it their way to end the overload. What happened when I ventured to be just one-more female? It suffocated me and drove me to shrivel inside.  It left me frantic. I spent more time away from people, taking my introvertism deeper.  I wasn't happy and I began to dislike myself.

Without realizing it, I found ways to deflect the constant desire by the nun's and other adults for me to mold myself into their idea of how a young girl should be in the world.  It took me many years to learn that outbursts, no matter the reason, were not allowed in school, home or church. I found my escape outdoors. Creativity was flush out there away from the demands of the 'adult' world.  Over time I learned how and when to share my outbursts.  Slowly I discovered my way of being in the world.

Did I set out purposely, with a 10-point plan to recreate my world as it existed?  Can't say early on that I consciously did.  Because I was young and I listened to the sweet quiet voice that still spoke to me, I found I could sometimes boldly stepped forward.  When I couldn't hear the sweetness from my fear I became meek and frightened.  Whatever the situation, I moved forward, I never quit moving often swallowing my fear but moving just the same.  I might have been quiet, but there was a resoluteness to my daily step, a stubborn turn of my chin that rode on beside me bringing me to adulthood.

When you reflect upon your childhood, do you take the time to notice the courage, the desire, the divine spark that rested deep within you?  Or do you only remember the 'good' times and the 'disappointing' times?  Can you peak a little deeper into those moments?  Are you willing to honestly see the mixture of wisdom and cavalier spite? Try not to dissect to the point of no return in your reflection.  Do take the time to sift through the illusion of childhood.  Upon closer inspection is great wisdom working beside you to develop your soul path?  

We are not innocent bystanders in this journey.  We are constantly co-creating for our higher good.  Some of our creations we think may lack a bit of substance and appear to be better suited to the junk pile.  Look closer!  There is wisdom and empowerment in failure.  Take time to deeply reflect upon your childhood memories.  Yes there is sweetness but what else?  Can you see the wise one deep within?  Is what you remember after reflection useful today?  Have you forgotten that the connection you felt so freely to your divinity as a child is still accessible?  Can you bring that child's knowingness of their divinity to you today?  Take a moment and go back to that time when you knew without a doubt and reconnect.  Embrace you in that moment.  Give them a seat at your table.  Allow them to show you why they never doubted.  Laugh with them and feed your divine spark.

The stubborn turn of my chin has been a cornerstone to my soul path.  That stubborn marching child, refusing to give up her will, has walked me through many harrowing experiences, and allowed me to meet some of the most amazing souls this lifetime.  I can guarantee you, she ain't going nowhere soon!  How about you?

Oh the joys of ...Traveling on .....

Teri ~ The Soul Traveler

The Listener .....

We all know them.  Some of us may be them.  Those who are artists at listening.  Super great at just knowing your faces and phases.  They seem to pop out of nowhere saving you in the nick of time.  For the listeners they can't explain in words how they did it nor even why they do it.  It is just something that is an intrinsic part of them.

When you are the listener, you seldom ask why me. I doubt very much you even consider looking to see if the scales get balanced.  The ability to sit and truly listen is a work of art.  To sense the immediate need by another to be seen right then and there is a blessing to so many.  Always feeling to them their value and ability to scale any difficulty helps to settle the world.  Sensing the way through the trees into the open comes very naturally and you help them glide past the rough patches.  Those who come to be heard leave refreshed and peaceful.

Without the Listeners this world would be chaotic and devoid of nurturing.  So sometimes when you are being heard think how much the Listener could use an ear.

And Listener, sometimes your voice needs to be heard.  xxoo

The Balance is set again.

Traveling on ....

Teri ~ The Soul Traveler

Warriors Cry Real Tears ..... Too

It is my walks in nature where I find my inspiration.  I don't think I am alone in this occurring.  We all have those times when we really let go of our daily grind.  Nature just seems to be the perfect 'spot' for it all to slip away.

Recently I was struck by a thought that sprang to mind as I wandered away from the maddening football crowd.  The noise drifted further and further leaving me present to the dusty trail and the minuscule amount of others joining me.  Contemplating on the gorgeous blue skyline with its wisps of promising clouds the thought of how my years of overwhelming sensitivity had awakened this fierce fortitude kept pushing at me to not be ignored.  This unwavering ability to reach deep into the darkest depths of others lives, soul loss, and pain.  How the fortitude had supported me in finding the strength to heal my darker wounds, releasing this amazing Joan of Arc aspect.  This Kali fire that had laid hidden deep now fueled my very being.  Somehow I had become the warrior I was destined to be this lifetime.  

Early on this extreme sensitivity laid me open for all to see, to be trampled on, to suck me dry energetically, it became a constant burden yet I could not discard it upon the heap and walk away.  As I walked through this life I was reminded daily by others that I wore my heart on my sleeve, to stop the crying for god sake, suck it up, and the best one was, "Oh here we go again," echoed through my head.  I could barely stomach large crowds still not my favorite without gobs of protection.  I didn't get sick or have a headache instead I grew restless, fidgety, a claustrophobic fence grew around me and I would dart.  Often I remained outside by myself literally and figuratively.  I would play with the neighborhood children but only when I wanted and always with an escape route.  Somehow I knew if I was ever cornered or someone I cared about was bullied, I would come out swinging.  

I liked being around people.  It was what occurred that drove me crazy.  It was the pain I felt from them, the cries for help, the wounded soul that begged me to listen.  I didn't know how to protect myself.  Still I helped, oh yes, I helped.  I listened, encouraged, walked them to solutions, laughed making them see the funny side, and then I went home tired and drained.  I carried all the wounding on my shoulders and in my heart.  I became their little angel.  I grew tired and aged past my years.

Overtime I learned how to protect myself.  I relinquished their burdens and stopped carrying them.  I discovered how to help them help themselves.  The turning point was when I finally embraced that I was a warrior.  Finding the finesse of the soul sword and how to deftly wield it on behalf of others broke the crack wide open on my extreme sensitivity.  Most who know me now have a hard time seeing me as the sensitive introvert.  What is apparent to them is my ability to kick ass and take names, my gregarious ways, and pull to have deep conversations.  If they look closely they will see the quiet one watching all the interchanges, feeling the ebb and flow of the energy, seeing the real story, and listening very closely ~ the warrior at work.

As we have lived our lives in the company of others we begin to perceive ourselves through their eyes.  We forget how to decipher the light + dark sides of our essence.  We mistake for instance our gregarious nature as a conflict to our desire for solitude.  We don't see either of them as pluses in our relating to others.  We think of them as a battleground for fitting in.  When we tweak our view just a bit our solitude becomes the place for figuring out what our gregarious nature just learned.  Why the person we just met is hurting deep within.  The person whose presence is pulling our energy away creating headaches, or sickness, or claustrophobia; the physical manifestations of a very sensitive introvert.  

We are not being asked to fix or lay down any aspect of our true soul nature.  It is up to us though to configure those aspects and find a home place for our sensitivity and desire for aloneness.  These are gifts and like all gifts sometimes their brilliance hurts our human eyes.  Remember it is okay to wear sunglasses inside.

We all know spiritual warriors and for many of us our soul song line is the warrior path.  It is expected that the warrior will stand and face the music for the tribe.  They travel into the depths of despair battling for our soul pieces and protecting the Truth.  Swords of valor, eyes of steel, and hearts all encompassing become the warrior creed for all who walk this soul song line.  

There is a piece seldom shown except in introverted moments.  It is what becomes the badge of courage.

Spiritual warriors cry real tears...... Too

Traveling on...... The Soul Traveler xoxo

The Stillness that is the Harvest

Sometimes, when we really pay complete attention, we are gifted with a communion that takes us out of our daily existence and into the 'real' experience of life.  

Four summers ago I visited the Devoto Memorial Cedar Grove on Lolo Pass. This grove from the first moment I heard of it has been calling and gifting me deeply.  Each summer since hearing the first call, I have returned and included one good friend to travel the grove with me.  Each friend has experienced and brought to the Cedars' a much-needed piece.

My personal blend of sacred herbs & plants includes the cedar from this grove, my clearing tools include a large piece of bark from the Grandmother Tree magically shaped like a cedar feather fan.  Every trip has been blessed with a special harvest of needles and bark, wisdom and words, strength & courage leaving behind gifts of my love and respect.  These visits have been magic-filled.

In 2012 I was told not to go further than the first 10 feet which of course I gently challenged.  Here was my first opportunity to step into a forest filled with ancient ancestors only to be asked to leave. 

In 2013 hearing I needed to come and  harvest cedar for a special blend I was to make, we arrived and heard repeatedly 'NO not here’.  Finding nothing had fallen to the ground to gather we decided to head home.   Winding back over the pass I heard a loud "Pull off Here" command and found myself face to face with 3 large cedar trees standing with branches loaded and offering their needles for sacred use.  

Last summer brought me to the Grandmother Cedar.  She had fallen across the trail blocking access to the area where I usually make my offerings and sit to drum.  She beckoned me to lie upon her and be with her.  Feeling the life still beating within her and hearing her song as I lay there took me to a deeper understanding of the magic between trees and me, actually all of this planet and me.  I have always loved the place we call Earth.  I have ached for her and cheered with her, shed tears for her and rallied for her, knowing that she will always forgive and continue to offer love to us.  She has protected me and drawn me closer to my medicine ways.  She has taken me home through her night sky and brought me back with the waking sun.  Yet the visit last year laid me open.  It carved the path for me to really grasp what was to be shown in the months ahead.

Grandmother Cedar gifted me with memories and bark from her fallen trunk.  I took several pieces but stopped before she told me.  I stopped because I did not want to be a glutton.  This May as I prepared for my trip to Ireland & Glastonbury I gathered satchels of my sacred blend digging into my stash of cedar.  It became evident in my preparations that I would soon be out of cedar needles and would need to ask to come harvest in the grove.  As I visited Ireland I left offerings to the land and was gifted small pieces of the Irish landscape for the sacred grove here.  Glastonbury welcomed my offerings of cedar and at Og & Magog I received a piece to bring back to Grandmother.  

Shortly after my return I heard Grandmother call asking me to come and see her.  I was asked to bring a friend and was given that friends name.  This wonderful friend has a gift of healing and as soon as the invitation was offered she connected with the grove and prepared for our visit.  And now in 2015 we came to assist with the matrix as a support to a new paradigm needed for the cedars to survive.

Upon our arrival we were asked to reverse my normal routine.  First we were to go to my special sacred spot, drum, and make our offerings.  The Grove whispered its hello and delight in our visit.  Grandmother Cedar chastised me for my reluctance to take more my last visit.  Why was I so stubborn to take what had been offered?  What was this 'belief' in my excuse of gluttony?  Who was I to determine when a gift was enough?  WoW!  She was right.  Who did I think I was to 'know' what was the right amount for a gift?  Why would I put a governor on the outpouring of sacredness?

Traversing through the grove we finally came to Grandmother Cedar.  She had been cut into several pieces so the trail could be cleared.  Her heart still beat as she lay there, holding the interim Grandmother and the matrix of the grove in a supporting love.  She knew as the Grove did that the old ways of holding space upon Earth needed to change.  It could no longer fall upon one.  There was a call now for several groupings of trees to bind together and then each group would hold the next until the matrix became a honeycomb shape and support system.  We were asked to help in setting the matrix and flow.  We were also asked to partake so we could understand the need for this paradigm shift.  

Coming face to face with her once again, I was transported back to last year and my special time with her.  Knowing I was to stay open to her guidance and blessings of the gift of her bark and needles, I pulled my bag out and listened.  Gently taking her bark, needles from the branches that had begun to grow from her fallen trunk, tears flowed as I realized that soon she would be out in the world blessing homes, ceremonial fires, and altars.  I continued until I heard her tell me "Take one piece just for you, my daughter, to remember me by for I won't be here next time you come".  I gently laid the piece of offering I brought from Ireland and Glastonbury, stepping back I turned, my heart saddened yet full, knowing she would be gone when I returned.

Continuing our work it became apparent that each group of three old cedars had around them groups of three much younger trees creating a matrix of 12 that connected to the next 12.  As we worked diligently, several groups of visitors would walk along the trails in the grove, stopping occasionally to chat with us.  The entire time we worked there were no groups of 2 or 5 only the combo of 3, 9, and 12 ~ trees and humans.  Finally we found ourselves back at the opening to the grove facing  a line of male cedars guarding the grove from the highway.  We were instructed to leave them as they were ~ connected to each other but not the grove.  These cedars are the Guardians of the Grove.  This place holds so much for all who visit.  What a blessing to be asked to help.
  

Often times we think we are being respectful by our humility yet there are times when it is only our ego that declares the reasons for our humility.  When I stopped taking the gifts Grandmother Cedar offered last year out of my need to 'not take too much and be disrespectful'  I wasn't able to gift fully to others.  I had to be careful with what I used in my sacred blend and in sharing with others.  Being concerned about 'running out' brought lack to others and myself.  Had I continued to gather more of Grandmother Cedar would be out in the world today.

It is so important to listen closely and not 'read into' or let our ego interfere in our sacred work.  Whether it is in our gathering of sacred offerings, building our connections, or learning + listening from Spirit and our Soul, don't quit when You think it is time.  Stop when all goes quiet and the stillness of the sacred moment assures you that completion has happened.  

This journey we are traversing is filled with opportunities to lengthen and strengthen our connection to our Higher Soul Self and Source.  We are here to learn and grown.  Don't think because you have 'arrived' and completed course after course that you are done learning.  Oh no ~ Beware of that ego trap!  HA, Baba Yaga loves those times.

So keep on keeping on!  Learn, Laugh, and Leap!

The journey continues ~

The Soul Traveler xoxox

I once hated it too.... And now ?

Yes I once hated winter!  The howling wind, the soft freezing snowflakes, the long dark days, and the harsh relentless cold.  I froze from September to mid-April.  Depression only lifted when the chinooks started to blow.  I gained a minimum of 5 pounds + looked like a shriveled up old lady in my 20's from trying to keep myself warm.  I lived in the winter sunbelt of Colorado and still couldn't find anything wonderful about winter.  One long cold evening walk from work, as I shivered my way down the final street, ice forming on my eyelashes, I made a promise to the god above who was withholding all my joy, to never again complain about winter, to never WHINE again if he would just bring spring back!  He kept his part of the bargain with early chinook winds in March and I kept mine.  I never complained in fear of retaliation.  But it didn't really stop me from hating winter.

I took my frustrations out on autumn.  You know those warning months of whats to come ~ splendor that hides the truth!  Depression crept into my life each Labor Day.  I began squirreling away sweaters, marshmallows, & heavy socks.  The thought of overcoats on top of Halloween costumes scared the beejesus out of me.  But I never complained once about winter. NEVER!

For some reason newly acquired friend I was to discover was in love with autumn or fall as we say here in the West.  I listened aghast as she delighted in all the changes occurring.  Finally summoning my courage I asked her why she loved fall and not my favorites spring or summer.  I stood stunned as she regaled fall's attributes and slammed my beloved twins (well cousins) spring + summer.  I scoffed at her and secretly went home to contemplate her words.

Finally years later I understood the why and how of Earth's seasons.  Clarity shined on the deeper truth in my vow of No Whining.  Something that had completely escaped me for decades. I felt and understood my friends love for autumn and the beauty it held.  She opened my eyes to something deeper than just the leaves changing, the scent of wood burning, the harvesting of the summers bounty.  I discovered the wisdom in all the seasons, not just my beloved spring + summer.

The true test was could I find that same love in the long dark drawwwwn out months of winter?  Could I welcome winter with the same zest I welcomed spring?  Was I willing to really let the truth, the soul truth, strike open my heart for winter?  It took time.  Yet I finally let winter show me her splendor and wisdom.  

No, I don't rush to the ski slopes each year, those days are long past.  I don't frolic in the deep snow and dream of sipping hot cocoa.  I do listen quietly as the bitter cold moves into the land.  I watch as the birds battle against the harsh wind and wonder about the symbology.  I delight in the blast of frozen air each time I open the door, gasping in surprise.  Bundled up in layers I walk daily returning to shelter with a glimpse of new knowledge of my world + me.  

I have come to realize that I make my experiences great or small.  It is my ability to accept myself leading me to accepting my outside world that brings joy or peace.  Don't get me wrong I still shiver for 5 months out of the year but I don't harbor resentment towards Winter.  Nature's personalities are but reflections of the world she watches over.  Storms rage to bring us deeper into ourselves and show us where we may be stuck whining and not changing.  Sun shines welcoming us to open to who we are.  Rain nourishes the land reminding us to take time to nourish our world, our soul.  Drought reminds us that often what we love can be lost.  There is so much symbolic expression in our seasons.  Just like each season there isn't a one-size fits all explanation for the messages being delivered. 

I still don't complain about winter.  I promised 40 years ago and I don't break my promises.  Each season brings with it very different expressions.  Just like the barometer tells us the changes in weather, how I respond tells me where I am in my heart.  

Look deep into all our amazing seasons.  Find the message hidden in plain sight for you.  Welcome that message into your home, give it a cuppa, and hear the words.  Wisdom isn't always hidden, it is only waiting for us to see with plain eyes.

Traveling on xoxo

The Soul Traveler

Chaos + Stillness

There has been some fast moving days over the last 10 days and it seems I have been surrounded by the usual frenzy of anticipated holiday ritual.  Perhaps my involvement in Thanksgiving & Christmas has changed by not having a close family and no children but it seems I don't get caught up in the whirlwind.  No judgement here on others rhythm only an observation of how the energy of the world can trigger each person differently. The bursts of frenzied expressions are not limited to the Holidays only somehow glaringly obvious in those times.  A slight over extension of past news can bring some to a reaction, an additional physical bump from a fellow human, or the longer whine of someone in confusion will bring out reactions that signal our being out of stillness, out of our soul rhythm.  Just as there are different humans, animals, trees, etc., there are just as many different soul rhythms giving rise at any one moment, expressing themselves into the energetic chaos we call life.

Honestly I think it is because I have now given myself permission to feel and live my expression of soul rhythm that the chaos or drama of life doesn't give rise to deeper shadow.  Early in life I was shushed into submission of any burst of energy ‘uncalled’ for in the moment or cajoled out of my quiet solitude during prescribed gatherings.  To be true to myself I did not go quietly into their chaos, always stating the obvious - why?   It is with the acceptance of shadow and light within my soul rhythm that stillness is found and a layer of wrapping is removed.

I have often sought solace behind my front door expressing a sigh of relief from the bustle in the streets.  Even at one point silently praying that dinner guests would wander off into the stillness of the night so I could breathe once again.  It was brought not so gently to my attention during that dinner's silent prayer that perhaps their desire to linger was a compliment to be embraced…. and there was still much to be shared among us.  Waiting for the stillness, the soul rhythm, to appear brought a blossoming of intimacy that would have been missed.

Understanding our need to bask in our soul rhythm is vital to moving along our path AND accepting the need for others to linger longer within our rhythm can bring about a two-fold evolution.  The key is to know you, accept others, and placing healthy boundaries.  

You see each of us have a soul rhythm that is vital to the symphony.  There is a natural still point in each of us.  It is a gift we brought into this experience.  For sure many have wrapped that gift up to the max and may never get all the trimmings removed but that shouldn't matter to us.  If we are truly moving along our soul journey then when the chaotic bumping starts acceptance and reflection will bring you back to still point.  It is our still point that is to be unwrapped, discovered, and shown to the world.  It is not our responsibility to point out to others their need to unwrap and be still.  

Chaos and stillness work hand in hand.  Think of them as the energetic fuel for movement.  Both create the ultimate desire, both are universal, both are expressions of source love.  They both reside within each other.

How can we share our ability for stillness? How can we find and begin the process of unwrapping our still point?  Do we look within each time our still point is set off balance?  Or do we strike out at the item or event that rocked our stillness?  It isn't a grand gesture that is needed, it is a simple recognition that within the walls of this lifetime there is a sacred spot that can set the stillness deeper into our world & the world outside.  What is chaos asking of us?

Think about it as you find yourself rushing about feeling the irritation whether it is on FB or other social media, in the shopping line, at work, or in your precious homes ~ Where is your stillness? Is there a layer asking to be removed?  Namaste 

And the soul journey continues..... ~The Soul Traveller

Back in the game ..... work game that is

My life is changing once again.  On a scale of 1-10 this is a change with which I am familiar so it ranks low on the scale.  I am so different now that this experience is being created from a deeper level, a shamanic level, a higher soul self, and a universal level.  This isn't a typical 8-5 existence anymore.  This is work on a soul level.  

As this knowledge and understanding was unveiling itself to me, in the midsts of confusion, doubts, and emotions, I journeyed to quell the storm that seemed to want to rise from deep within.  I wasn't looking to stop the storm I was looking for the direction through the midsts and to quiet the rushing sounds so I could hear the words that would soothe me.  It was a quick journey filled with trepidation as the fears mounted in my body only to be calmed by the warming embrace of the Universe as these words filled my head.  

"Your soul is after the growth not the money and Source will fill in where the money might appear to be thin. If your desire is to live from your soul then you need to feed it and trust that you have never been dropped. They need you as much as you will need them each day.  You are not to sit upon the mountain but to bring the mountain to them.  There is so much yet to be seen by your eyes, to be understood by your mind, to be felt by your body that will bring you deeper into your path, your Beingness.  You cannot perceive all that is about but you can perceive the depth of love present for you at this moment.  We understand the fretting, the human illusions where you co-exist, we know this is but part of being a human and we KNOW that your soul desires the ultimate expression and will not be denied.  Seek us to support your human needs and allow us to keep you in the present.  We know your human desires and we know that you have come to understand the deeper expression."  I left the journey with the first two sentences emblazoned upon tongue. 

I called and accepted employment with the Department of Developmental Disabilities for the state of Montana.  Employment that would not be meeting the minimum monthly amount for me to 'make ends meet'.  It was a $.25 an hour short. Yet it pulled me to it the first day of the interviews with the Tibetan Prayer flags adorning the reception room, the Ojo de Dios hanging in the front windows, the spontaneous laughter erupting during the interview, the truly 'casual' dress code, the honesty of needs, and yes there is great retirement and vacation benefits.  I accepted the position trusting the words I had heard spoken and within five minutes of the acceptance I was told of a 5% rate increase in November which took me above my minimum.  I laughed understanding that I do not see the entire picture.  I chortled knowing my guidance, the Universe and my soul were 'knuckle stamping' each other.  (Some may think I hold issues around money and that is not the case as I have always had exactly what I need when I need it.  I am a Pisces astrologically where money is not the ultimate desire and my numerology dictates monetary success so instinctually I balance.)

This is only a glimpse of the 3rd dimensional experience.  The capture of being present to the moment, understanding the capable aspects of Self, and willingness to trust unabashedly would reveal perceived hidden mapping of my journey.  This mapping lay hidden because I had yet to acquire all the tools to read the maps.  As I willingly dove deeper into my true essence, tools were revealed to help me read my changing maps.  Yes, there are many maps drawn for our journeys which are switched and changed based on decisions and non-decisions.  Just like maps for each state and the many countries on earth we are gifted with individual compact maps.  They are overlaid on our list of attainments adjusting as we peel and dive deeper.   Like the surveyor we adjust as the terrain changes.  

Early in my awakening, I wanted so much to no longer 'work' in the world.  Instead I desired spending my days in earnest pursuit of the deeper meanings of life and sharing those discoveries with others in workshops, in other words, sitting upon the mountain.  I tried several times leaving employment to build a practice and each time the funding dried up requiring me to return to the workplace.  Many hours have been spent in reflection seeking the 'reason' for not attaining enough financial support and non-fulfillment of my desires.  Casting doubts upon my abilities, yet seeing very clearly the impact my return to the world was having on those around me, I fretted and concluded I needed to just try harder to build a practice.  This thinking allowed the ego to implant the concept that I was not a fully realized soul if I couldn't build a practice outside of the standard employment.  

These last months of unemployment have sped quickly by taking me once again to the state of return.  There was no massive booming of a practice, there was a steady increase, a nourishing of soul, a clearing of patterns and the final realization that my soul path, my soul agreement, my most impactful place was in the work game.  It was there that the most seeds were planted, the deeper touching of soul to soul, the quiet shamanic support of community to be given, and where the Universe filled my soul path.  My ego was wrong.  I am a fully realized soul in each moment no matter if it is in standard employment or a private practice.  Shaking off the perceived 'right way' to be a spiritual being takes courage, clarity of truth, and a willingness to go against the flow.  Discarding this illusion creates freedom.

Not all of us get to leave the work world and build private practices.  Many of us are most impactful in the challenging world of constant human interaction.  We change the course of someone by being in an 8-5 job.  Having a human experience as a spiritual being entails living within the experience of non-awaken souls.  As you create the clients, the spiritual life you so deeply desire, being smack dab in the midst of the perceived chaos brings a wealth of empathy, compassion and an energetic signature of 'you know how they feel' that is invaluable and life changing.  Mother Teresa didn't sit in the convent and serve her community.  She lived among them.  The world needs all of us.  Those who are not in the world and those who are in the world.  Find value in where Spirit has you.  Go about knowing that by being you, the true and deep you, no matter what the scenery is, has value undiscovered and life-changing.  We can't all leave the world.  As you struggle within the environment of the workplace, seek the truth of the situation and trust that your soul is being fed and serving the greater whole.  Create a workplace without struggle, create a private practice within your corporate, non-profit, retail, or government job.

I no longer reflect in a wanting state of where I am going or why I am some where.  I reflect now on how I can show up as the true me.  Where is my ego still leading the way, why is this moment challenging, how can I best serve all of us, and what makes my heart sing?  These are the questions I review.  How life appears doesn't matter.  How life impacts does.  Rushing about creates chaos, walking softly blooms love, being present for every moment creates opportunity.

Taking the essence of being into the world of constant doing sets the ripples of change into motion.  Finding your practice within the world of employment leads everyone further along their soul path even when it appears otherwise.  We are not here to create scenarios.  We are here to feed our souls, uncover the illusion of separation, and walk the cosmic, divine, christed Essence into this lifetime.

If you are happy being you, you will be happy in any work you do.

And the journey continues.....

The Soul Traveler

Fireside Chat - Spiritual Equality

My guest, Evy O'Leary-Bennett, chatted with me on the subject of Spiritual Equality.  It was a welcome discussion with many eye-opening shares and fun-filled quips.

Spiritual equality is a subject we don't often discuss.  Looking at it from the impact it has in all aspects of our life enables us to move through our constraints bringing forward a communal way of living.  We are all experiencing being human.  We all have special gifts that blossom at different intervals.  

As we venture further down our path, taking time to reflect on spiritual equality will set into motion the change we all desire in the world.  Are we sharing our knowledge and ourselves to others in the manner of equality?  As teachers and mentors are we standing in equality with those we are supporting, holding them in an equal role allowing for those moments of shared student/teacher exchange?  As we are learning from others are we standing in our equality or are we taking the role of less than finding ourselves wanting to 'kill the teacher'? Are we viewing our shadow sides in equality?

We have come into this world, this lifetime, to remember who are truly are.  We may be further along the path in certain aspects from others but we are not the one who is wiser, more knowledgeable in all the many aspects of our journey.   We are all brilliant spiritual beings remembering, uncovering, and sharing our discoveries with the intent to support each other to becoming all that we are.  Because this is a collective endeavor holding each other in equality enables the ripples to move further and further encompassing many who might not be reached.  We are all both teacher and students in our journeys through this life.

Spending the August Fireside Chat with Evy in laughter and discovery broadened our relationship enriching both our reaches in our individual paths.  Our desire is to share with you our experience of spiritual equality. 

Would love to hear your views and experiences on spiritual equality.  Hope you enjoy our chat as much as we did!

The Soul Traveler ~

This is the August Fireside Chat with Evy O'Leary-Bennett. Our discussion focused on spiritual equality.

A New Day Dawning

Whoa what a whirlwind month April has been for me!  Writing, writing, and more writing was the focus and the call.  Words tumbling out faster than I could type.  Thoughts lost in the dark recesses of my mind wiggling their fingers in a call for me to follow. I celebrated the completion of one writing commitment and said good-bye to another support to my writing.  It felt right as I came to the end of April and looked out across the expanse lying before me.

Giving myself permission to not write for a week, I found more than rest from the drive but also a newness dawning.  My head felt dusty and fallow.  It became apparent to me that a refreshing approach was needed.  In my resistance to pausing I found myself chastising what I assumed was laziness and a return to old patterns of not finishing projects.  Fortunately I flushed those mean words down the drain and carried on.

What began to unfold was another call to creativity.  This call had been pushed far back into the corner to allow for the blogging and book writing to take center stage.  There was real reluctance on my part to bring something new forward and not stay to the course.  Finally in a true fit of stubbornness, I took pen to paper and allowed the creativity on another project to begin.  It was deafening the sounds pouring out into the open.  The artistic side sauntered through on an afternoon breeze and created deeper focus for my writing and design work.  It really surprised me.  Advice that had been given affirmed the value of my pause.

It is a tricky place pattern breaking.  Those ways that we think have kept us safe and sane, when called to task, leave reluctantly.  After much practice they design new ways of adjusting falsely.   Our minds are grand instruments and when paired with ego develop an ability to fine-tune themselves into exquisite works.   These works trick us into thinking they aren't tied to ego or old patterns dressed up in different attire.  It is important to take pause, listen, and use discernment to identify the trickster.  As you move further into oneness with soul you will know the difference in the illusion and your ego will do overtime.  As frustrating as this may seem you should welcome the experience.  The more you can identify how your ego shows up the more you can step further into your true self.  Ego will never completely leave nor do we want it.  It will however learn its place in your life which is awakening.  Stripping the illusion away, having no opinion of the illusion, and still being in the illusion are skills that will be acquired as you continue to walk upon your path.  

Now May is almost over.   The writing that has taken place for me has been insightful.  My main character in my book is back and refreshed.  She has given me more to write and spurs me to tell her tale.  There are other stories developing.   This excites me to know the well is not dry.  I have found joy again in my blogging and spring is officially here in my piece of the world.  I have learned more about who and how and care less about the why.  The discovery of a new pattern to wash down the drain brings another level to my path.  

There is a new day dawning.  It comes quietly, renewed and welcomed.  There is a new level to me.  It comes quietly, simply, and unabashedly.  I understand my writing and a deeper me.  They are intertwined and have no pause to be iconic.  They just are.  I believe there will always be new days dawning.  It won't just happen to me.  They are there for all of us.  Enjoy them!

~The Soul Traveler